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Teen Poetry #3
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Waterbed Boyfriend
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Waterbed Boyfriend |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina 
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Being with you Is like wearing a cast on my arm You itch You make me sweat I long to crack you open And hurl you away from me Yet I know that without you I'll remain broken You're like that song all the radio stations play Over and over Once I thought you were exciting So very cool But now you're just monotonous Redundant Always lurking in the back of my mind Making me crazy You're contagious Like the flu And once I've caught you You'll stay in my system for weeks Raising my temperature Churning my stomach I still wake up coughing up pieces of you I can't get rid of you Like that medicine aftertaste That hangs in my mouth And can't be washed away So everything else I try is tainted by you Just like a waterbed Once your novelty has worn off I find myself drifting aimlessly Sinking into you Cold Lonely Getting seasick So tell me, What's a girl to do? I'll just keep on laughing, Hiding the tears in my eyes... *Oleander |
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| © Copyright 2000 Meredith - All Rights Reserved | |||
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey this kicked some serious bootay! I loved the way you described this dude, it was really creative and worked really well. Great job  ~Carly |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Lyric~ This was so creative...2 thumbs up for you...Good work!!! ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
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cutie2005 Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 148Bennett, Colorado USA |
Ohh.. This is a sweet poem!! Very good. I liked it!! If you love someone you would go to the end of the world for them! |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Great comparisons you've used, I really like this "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
I forgot to ask you what made you think of that??? The way you used the comparisons for what they reminded you of??? ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I just looked at the title of the this poem and i HAD to read it. I was blown away by what was inside though...i never thought of things from that perspective..but once i compared it to my feelings about a certain person in my life it matched up completely. I love how you worded it. Amazing job...!! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
What's a girl to do? I wouldn't know, im not a girl. but if i was, i'd dump the kid. But hey......dont quote me on that.  "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wow ... that's some powerful writing Lyric! Incredibly descriptive ... you sure got your point across, and in a great way, Wow! Best wishes, /Kit |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a wonderful piece! I love the metaphors you've used to describe this person, especally this one: "I can't get rid of you Like that medicine aftertaste That hangs in my mouth And can't be washed away So everything else I try is tainted by you" This is really great. Keep up the good work! False gems may shine as brightly as the genuine article, but there are always those who can tell the difference. |
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DreamerGrl27 Member
since 2000-10-29
Posts 142 |
This was so creative, I would have never thought to describe someone like you did. I really liked this part: You're like that song all the radio stations play Over and over Once I thought you were exciting So very cool But now you're just monotonous Redundant |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
Hey everybody, thank you all so very much for liking this. Makes me feel good to get all this support, considering my love life is a disaster. Oh well, I'll survive. Thanx again, you guys rock! Sorry I haven't been around for a while.......crazy circumstances. Peace out! *~Meredith~* I'll just keep on laughing, Hiding the tears in my eyes... *Oleander |
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