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Enduring Quest (Sonnet)
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Enduring Quest (Sonnet) |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair 
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This is my attempt at a Sonnet, I guess. It's a bit dark, but, tell me what you think please. Thanks. These predicaments I face today, conglomerate increasingly, Dirty luck is what I’ve been attached to, but I think I need out, No more fake love, my heart lunges for a special somebody, My status, of loveless searching, leaves me in this scene of doubt, Every day I convince myself, there’s someone out there, Minutes, seconds and hours go by, still no sign of affection, Looking down in shame, I question this swollen tear, In the eyes of the perceiver, will my heart be what they won? Racing a million thoughts a second, I go blank in disgust, What have I become? Nothing less than a apparition of space, I’ve fought so hard for this feeling, how must I gain it’s trust? Nothingness pierces my soul, this quest is not worth my disgrace, Struggling so long, I can’t obtain what I need, what I endure, I choke on air, love runs through my fingers, I need a cure, Jeremy D. Raulinaitis 10/25/00 "...if you've never met me, then you've no right to judge me. I have a good heart, but this heart can get ugly." ~DMX~ |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved | |||
DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
hey babe!  "Love runs through my fingers.." i like that part..as do i love all your poems. this wasnt a poor attempt at all. sonnets are hard, we had to write one for english, and trust me when i say your's blows mine out of the water keep up the great work<3 always~!* DQ< !signature--> "One fine day you'll look at me and know that love was meant to be" ~Carol King [This message has been edited by DancinQueen (edited 10-25-2000).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I'm not really sure what a sonnet is. Hahahaha..... see i write by winging it. I really don't know much about poetry. Anyway......this was great...dark..but great.  "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Oooh! A sonnet!! Wow I wish I could remember something from English.  It's really great. I liked it. Keep it up alright? Smile!! Hasta luegoBel |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
thanks DQ your a sweetie dopey, for someone that doesnt know a lot bout poetry, your very good at it, thanks for the comment thanks isabel, glad you enjoyed it, good ol english class! yah right jeremy r "...if you've never met me, then you've no right to judge me. I have a good heart, but this heart can get ugly." ~DMX~ |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
This is very good. I don't really know what else to say in this reply, but I don't feel like I've said enough! But anyway, yeah, nicely done " I’ve fought so hard for this feeling, how must I gain it’s trust? Nothingness pierces my soul, this quest is not worth my disgrace," "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey. I vaguely remember learning about sonnets...heh..this one was so kickin. The wording was so incredible...keep it up... ~Carly The grindstone of life will either polish us or wear us down, depending on what we're made of. |
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curlygurly Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276USA |
wow i remember what a sonnet is! kinda surprising. i liked this poem, it was really good. great subject, although you were right it was kind of dark hehe! Curlz "I feel fine enough I guess considering everything's a mess" Barenaked Ladies |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
hey Jeremy, you did a good job....one thing though. As far as I remember, you did get the 14 lines, but I think sonnets are suppose to have 10 syllables only for each line. example given: a sonnet by the master himself William Shakespeare "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer's lease hath all too short a date. Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often in his gold complexion dimmed; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimmed; But thy eternal summer shall not fade, Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st, Nor shall Death brag thou wand'rest in his shade, When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st. So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." Just thought this might help keep it up..and don't forget to share em too< !signature-->I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR [This message has been edited by acire (edited 10-28-2000).] |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
acire, i believe your right, but thats a shakespearean sonnet, isnt there different kinds? maybe i made my own! thanks for the insight!"...if you've never met me, then you've no right to judge me. I have a good heart, but this heart can get ugly." ~DMX~ |
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