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Teen Poetry #3
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Illusion
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Illusion |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Argh argh arrrgh. My ability to write exponentially decreases w/ each poem. Crap. Vreni Illusion Frigid, I walk along the cobblestones Angry at the world, so utterly alone. The frosty wind nips at my back, Colors my cheeks, fingers attacks. I stop, mid-step, I do not believe For I see your face staring back at me. In a puddle your reflection tranquilly lies Complete with a smirk and coal black eyes. I falter for a moment, unsure of my feet, Incredulous of illusion in the nether concrete. Running to the pool, I kneel on the ground, A million thoughts, verbal questions abound. Silent, you just give me a nod and a wink, Your reflections begins to fade, slowly sink. I gasp, plunge my fingers into the icy ripples, The mind- numbing cold my hands does cripple. Sobbing, I beg and implore for your return, As my tears drip downward, a freezing burn. You are gone now, simply insanity’s illusion Remaining only is memory’s disillusion. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
With every poem you never cease to amaze me. You're a great writer......and oh yea, i have the flu.....ouch it sucks. Eneh weh......keep up the good work and keep posting.  "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Barelybreathing Junior Member
since 2000-04-26
Posts 46 |
Hey this really good...I usually don't reply but this just caught my eye..I like your style of writing..keep up the good work.. ~sam~ 'The greatest thing in the world is to know how to be one's own.' ~Montaigne~ |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I don't see why you think this is so bad. I think every poem I've read of yours has contained well thought out thoughts and very good writing. In other words, great poems. I think this one is really good because it contains very deep thoughts and feelings and is written well (it flowed good for me and just felt right). Well, if you dont stop saying you're work is bad than I'm just going to have to...to..do something to get you to stop  I really like how this poem ended (and gosh I wrote a lot):"You are gone now, simply insanity’s illusion Remaining only is memory’s disillusion." [Editing-I's ain't be learned ta spelled varry whell]< !signature--> "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! [This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 10-24-2000).] |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey! hah if this your talent's decreasing, I'm really really sorry that I missed the first stuff you did...This was incredible, the words were perfect and the ideas were perfect. Don't stop writing. Ever. ~Carly The grinstone of life will either polish us or wear us down, depending on what we're made of. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Decreasing writing ability? Reading this poem just made me feel like I don't even deserve to be around the same forum as you. Like I have no talent at all. This poem is amazing I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Wow that's GREAT!! Really nice...oh what's the word.......imagery(?). How can that be decreasing writing ability?? I wish I could write that well!! Alright well keep this up! Bel |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Dopey - You're too sweet, as always. As I said before, your compliments mean a lot as I am a great fan of your writing.Oh no! The flu? How awful! Hope you feel better! Barelybreathing - thanks for replying! I feel honored that you'd reply to this! Lakewalker - so whatcha gonna do if I keep saying I don't like my poems? Huh? Huh? lol j/k. Um, no, I honestly don't like this piece, but thanks for replying. :.) Child - Oh don't worry, there isn't anything before that's even worth reading! lol. Thanks for the compliments, though! acire- WHAT???? I love your poetry!! How can I, the humble crappy poet, make you feel such! This should NOT be the case!! Lift your head high and keep it there, your poetry rocks. :.) Isabel - Lol, thanks for the compliments, and dear, you can write MUCH better than I. ;.) Vreni |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
So you're a fan of my writing? i was not aware of this. It means A LOT to me because I am a fan of yours. Keep up the good work.....or in your case.....crappy work. "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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