»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #3
»
Backstabbed
| Teen Poetry #3 |
|
Backstabbed |
|
|
Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
-=Backstabbed=- i feel your knife running through my spine. i feel your sweat splashing on my flesh. i feel you trembling. i feel your fear. i see your thoughts, your mind's not clear. i saw you coming, with the knife and some humming... i saw your face, pale and out of place. i saw your doubts. i saw your weakness. i saw your feelings, you did it anyway. my blood was shed, drained, sucked from myself. now here i will stay, the day will turn to night. but, honey, my soul was not the one that died -Morouxshi San San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Morouxshi San - All Rights Reserved | |||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
"my soul was not the one that died" Wow! What a powerful message you give us! True, people that hurt their loved ones by stabbing them in the back are the ones that are hurt the most. Very well-written. Keep up the great work! False gems may shine as brightly as the genuine article, but there are always those who can tell the difference. |
||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
San this kicked so much butt. I loved it and i think you have a kick ass talent that needs to be shown throughout the world. Maybe you and me can form a poet alliance haha......or not.  "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
||
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey. Holy smokes this sent chills down my spine, it was sooo cool. The ending was kickin'. Happy writing... ~Carly The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned. ~Isaiah 9:1-2 |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Before I read the replies I thought "what an awesome ending" but now I see the others already mentioned that so i'll just add that I agree with them. This whole poem is great, thanks for sharing  "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
