navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » life in a bottle
Teen Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic life in a bottle Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
CLBinLOVE
Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 147
Hilton Head, SC, USA

0 posted 2000-10-20 09:02 PM


my life is a bottle
in which i keep my pains
i try to always act happy
to overlook life's stains

but instead i hide them
my feelings, way down inside
where noone can see them
i try to make my feelings abide

i bottle things up in me
so everyone will say
"he's always so happy,
from june to may"

i say to myself
that bad things dont matter
i overlook the bad things
they only make life sadder

but in truth i dont
dont overlook the bad
i lock it up inside
until i explode and get mad

get mad at the world
get mad at myself
when i let it all out
to people, and myself

take for example my girlfriend
i dont tell her what i think
atleast not things that will hurt her
and make her heart sink

but then it all comes pouring out
all my thought that have been locked up inside
and she didnt know they existed
i couldnt make my feelings abide

she wants me to tell her
what im thinking at the time
but its so hard to do
because im supposed to be on her side

im supposed to back her up
on all that she does right?
not go aginst her
as sometimes i might

she knows that we dont agree
on some things anyway
but i guess its still hard
to say what i need to say


no i dont want to break up with her, and she knows that i dont agree with her somethimes and she wants me to tell her what im thinking, the only problem is it doesnt feel right sometimes
anyway thats the poem, i kinda got off subject but it just flowed with my thoughts, sorry about that


always follow your heart, never follow others unless it is truely where you want to go, and never give up a dream, maybe just set it aside for a while... :)

© Copyright 2000 Craig Baker - All Rights Reserved
Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
1 posted 2000-10-20 10:07 PM


Interesting.  I would say be...oh nevermind, I don't know what I would say!  But I like this poem, it did seem to express your feeling well.

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
2 posted 2000-10-20 10:59 PM


I thought this poem was awesome! I liked it a lot! I know its hard to get out of the habit of keeping your feelings inside, im the exact same way. But like you i also have someone pulling at me to not be so personal and not close them out of my life. I dont do it on purpose but i dont feel comfortable sharing. I did share and in a way i regretted it but now i have someone i can go to. Explain to your gf your need to keep somethings inside. I'm shur she'll understand. But n e way great job on the poem!
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2000-10-20 11:08 PM


Well this was good to let the thoughts just flow. Most often than not i do the same and my poems sometimes come out all wrong from the general thought. oh well! Anyway the poem didn't do much of that and it was great.



"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2000-10-21 07:28 AM


You've expressed yourself wonderfully CLBinLove, and I can truly relate to these words. You know, I've been writing for about 30 years now, and I started writing because of these very same feelings you've described. I too, found it difficult to speak out in my younger years, and writing was such a release. It allowed those bottled up feelings to pour out onto the paper.

Over time I learned that I felt better if I spoke up and calmly gave my opinion ... sometimes others agree, sometimes they don't, but it always makes for interesting conversation.  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

5 posted 2000-10-21 11:32 AM


Hey there, great poem.  I see what you mean...but I don't think it could've been misinterpreted.  Believe it or not, I know how you feel, really.  Okay well keep up this writing...hasta luego
Bel


Beautiful is empty
Beautiful is free
Beautiful loves no one
Beautiful stripped me
-"Beautiful" CREED

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

6 posted 2000-10-21 04:50 PM


Okay, I know I already responded to this, but I re-read it and couldn't help it.  Let me just say that no, you aren't supposed to back your girlfriend up all the time, and you shouldn't always be on her side if there is good reason not to.  I'm no expert on this, but I am a girl, and I think your girlfriend understands.  Take that into consideration aye?  I'll stop now
Bel

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » life in a bottle

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary