Unseen Emotions - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

0 posted 2000-10-20 06:17 PM

I dont know how to say this,
Im trying to put it in words.
My thoughts are confused,
Theres a part of me no ones heard.
If you listen to me closely,
You'll hear my silent cries.
Look at me gently,
You'll see the tears dancing in my eyes.
Listen to me breathe,
My each restricted breath.
Notice how when you ask me to rely on you,
I'm not ready yet.
Look at the way i walk,
Not lively in any way.
Notice how i wait,
For that one happy day.
Hold my hand as it trembles,
With the thought of you gone.
Feel how my heart beats,
To your loving song.
Notice how i move,
Not wanting you to go.
If you dont look closely,
None of these emotions will ever show.

Morouxshi San
Member

since 2000-10-11

Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2000-10-20 06:22 PM

hiding is no way to love, yet it is so restricting to go ahead and just show, so compromising.
i know how it feels...
very good poem...

San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

2 posted 2000-10-20 09:57 PM

I like how this poem consistantly asks the person you wrote it to (and the reader) to do something. I like how it's written, good job

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2000-10-20 11:03 PM

Just to let you know......For Morox to actually reply to a poem, it has to be good in his eyes. He constantly whines about how he's a junior member to me in school and how he wants to be a member, yet won't ever surpass 50 posts because he only replies to good poetry. So here's my suggestion....why don't you post up more poems like that, and he's set! haha....plus you get a lot of praise. Well yea i liked the poem and great job!

"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

4 posted 2000-10-21 10:20 AM

Hey. This was really good, and I can realate to it (which is a plus). It flowed really well, and I loved the part about holding your hand as it trembles...great stuff...stay strong, happy writing.

~Carly

The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.
~Isaiah 9:1-2

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

5 posted 2000-10-21 10:12 PM

Now this is really good. I really like what your wrote about here. Look close and not from afar. Awesome writing. keep it up and keep sharing

"If you listen to me closely,
You'll hear my silent cries.
Look at me gently,
You'll see the tears dancing in my eyes."

Simply amazing

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.