Life is Falling (The 6th Round)

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Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

0 posted 2000-10-13 06:55 PM

NOTE: Ok so i'm just going to post up any random thing on my comp doing with the 6th Round. So not all of it is gonna be good. Soooooo...ok i hope you all enjoy my current stuff..... This style is the kind that each verse doesnt have that many syllables....it's something you'll see a bit in this round. Ok so yea.

Life is Falling:

A new life is here
Broken up with fear.
Tingling time arise.
Starting my demise.

Musing my souls fate.
Realize it's too late.
Eyes wide open torn.
Life completely worn.

Dead trees burn in ash.
A solemn eye lash.
Close my eyes and cry.
Delve within my lie.

Joy parade of hell.
The life lived was swell.
Frowning bright today.
Up in arms I lay.

Intellect gone dead.
Time I fear to tread.
Pentagrams gallore.
Loving so much more.

Lungs without the air.
Life is so not fair.
Building blocks are mere.
Dying is good, I hear.

"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

1 posted 2000-10-13 08:50 PM

i thought u didnt like dark poetry....lol...i thought it was amazing
ina

Pixie-Babe03
Member

since 2000-08-29

Posts 387
Central Maine

2 posted 2000-10-13 11:24 PM

Dopey*~
You write such strong poetry! th reader really gets a feel for what you are thinking

very creative

~*Justine*~

Morouxshi San
Member

since 2000-10-11

Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2000-10-13 11:44 PM

well, i have to differ from Ina a bit.
i dont really consider it dark.
its just not about cows, its more of him being more "unsymbolic". a slight attempt at complete sincerity without you having to figure it out.

then again it might just be me.
its good, you cant deny that.

San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

4 posted 2000-10-14 01:29 PM

I'm with San on this one, I don't see this as being dark. To me, it seems to be written to get the reader to think for a while. Nice work Dopey

"Intellect gone dead.
Time I fear to tread."

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

Erin
Member Elite

since 2000-06-15

Posts 2527
~Chicago~

5 posted 2000-10-14 09:17 PM

Dopey~Good one...You are already on the 6th and I didnt even get to read all of the 5th...Sorry buddy...Good piece...

~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~

jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

6 posted 2000-10-14 10:49 PM

hmmm.. need there be anything else said? cant get enuf of these, great sense of reality here

jeremy r

"...if you've never met me, then you've no right to judge me. I Got a good heart, but this heart can get ugly." ~DMX~

em
New Member

since 2000-10-15

Posts 2

7 posted 2000-10-15 03:38 AM

I only just joined 'Passion in Poetry' today, and also wrote my first poem today... so im really not good. lol

but i hope one day i can write aswell as you have in this poem, and all the poems on this site. its a whole new world to me.
You are all so talented!

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