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Teen Poetry #3
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Silence
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Silence |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair 
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Silence leads emptiness Insists upon our whispers Like winds on a dark night Moon alone for us to see Don't say a word to me Let me watch your glow Noise distracts my visions Me and you, skies of heaven Chills of delight and cold Leave us together and close Under the moons shiny coat Looking down, upon our sight Luring plot feels so perfect Let this last for eternity, or For a minute, or an hour Just for a moment let it be Anything is good enough As long as things are the same The next time, the setting Oh so right, and lovely beauty The touch, and feel remain calm Presence breaks barriers These walls of nervosity Let it be, this perfect night Full of what remains silence "I will know where I'm headed, 'cause I'm so tired of the suffering, I stand before you, a weakened version of your reflection." ~DMX~ "Prayer III" |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I read this a couple times and I think these thoughts of everything being perfect are great jeremy. I like how this is written. This part is my favorite: "Let this last for eternity, or For a minute, or an hour Just for a moment let it be" "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nice job man, i like the part that lake walker pointed out and i loved the part of "moons shiny coat". I thought it was nice and sweet. Great job bud!!  "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
thanks, it was my first attempt with free verse. "I will know where I'm headed, 'cause I'm so tired of the suffering, I stand before you, a weakened version of your reflection." "...if you've never |
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