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Teen Poetry #3
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seasons & reasons
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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seasons & reasons |
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Euclid the Kid Member
since 2000-07-15
Posts 51Eugene,Oregon |
seasons come < !signature-->and seasons go and i am left behind, to make some sort of sense of it my bearings so to find. why must the world forever turn with it's constant motion, e'er keeping us off balance thus tossed around life's ocean? i'd like a sense of constancy more than a constant blur, that where i've been and where i go of these, i can be sure. so many the decisions so dim the guiding light, how in the world am i to choose a path for me, that's right? seasons come and seasons go i guess i'll take my time, until life's dust so settles down and i can make make my life mine. I seek to be me- and all I can be! [This message has been edited by Euclid the Kid (edited 10-07-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Euclid the Kid - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
Dear Euclid; I quess it's ok to now reveal that you are my nephew. So, Aunt Ellie would like to say that this poem is very well written and quite lovely. You show a tremendous amount of wisdom for one so tender of years. I hope that as you mature you will continue to write, but then I suspect you are one of the few who will always remain young at heart! Love, Aunt Ellie Summers haunting melody that awakens the butterflies, calling them to join the dance in their silent song of praise to God. eL |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I like this a lot. The style's great and it flowed well. My only questioin is about the third stanza. In all of the other stanzas(well, really not the fifth either, but that's closer) the third and last lines rhyme, but in the third stanza they don't. I still love the poem but I just thought I'd mention that I noticed that. Nice writing  |
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Euclid the Kid Member
since 2000-07-15
Posts 51Eugene,Oregon |
Thanks Aunt Ellie, But did you have to say that in front of all my friends??? Thanks Lakewalker for your constructive criticism, I have change verse 3 up. I hope it is better. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Hey I thought the poem was great. I liked the ryhme scheme and i liked the formatting of it all. The message of the poem kicked butt. great job!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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curlygurly Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276USA |
This was an excellent poem and i understood the message you were addressing! very excellent imagery! Curlz "i've kissed the moon a million times, danced with the angels in the sky" enrique iglesias |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey. This was awesome. Definitely something to be very proud of!! Keep it up. ~Carly Better days are on the way, my friend, just a ways on down the line. I believe that just around the bend, everythings gonna be fine... |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"so many the decisions so dim the guiding light, how in the world am i to choose a path for me, that's right?" Excellent Euclid! I loved the rhythm in this piece ... very nice flow! You've vividly expressed emotions and thoughts I still ponder myself ... wonderful wording! Best wishes, /Kit |
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sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA |
that was awesome! Great poem, keep writing. Luv, ~*~SweetStuff~*~ ~*~ YeStErDaY iS tHe PaSt, 2mOrRoW iS ThE fUtUrE, ToDaY iS a GiFt, ThAt'S wHy We CaLl iT ThE pReSeNt. ~*~ |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
"i'd like a sense of constancy more than a constant blur, that where i've been and where i go of these, i can be sure." -- I too wish I could find a sense of consistancy...I really loved this piece, it made me think about many of the events in my life right now. Well done! *Krista Knutson* "Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." -Confucious |
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Dennis L. White Senior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 1463Michigan, U.S.A. |
Euclid, This is really good, a thoughtful observation of life and it's challenges. Well done! Dennis :^) Moonbeams radiate When the veiling cloud has past Playful shadows dance Dennis L. White :^) |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Wow, as I said before I love this, I like the change too. Very well written |
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