Teen Poetry #3 |
The In's and Out's of Crescent Falls |
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well this poem is posted up not for the format or style (which i do not prefer), but for the message and title. I like the title and i love the messsage. So if you dislike the poem as I do, just concintrate on the message. BYE! The In's and Out's of Crescent Falls: Sweet Queen of Crescent Falls Why do your eyes glow? Simply because poor peasant boy, They are made of brilliant pearls. Ah yes, sweet Queen. And why is your skin so soft? Simply because poor peasant boy, I bathe in bubbles and fine oils. Oh pardon my questioning sweet Queen, But why is your smile so beautiful? Simply because poor peasant boy, My face is proportioned to perfection. So then sweet Queen of Crescent Falls Assist me to discover Why your heart be ruthless and cold, And mine so open and loving! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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© Copyright 2000 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I like the message behind this one a lot too. The title does seem to fit perfectly. But I do like the style of it. Great poem |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Dopey- I loved this one! It's really good. I wish I had your creativity Where'd you come up with this one? It's a good message...hasta luego amigo Bel |
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Singer1981 Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 148Fredonia, NY USA |
Dopey-Very good. I did like the style...and the message behind it is very good...and sometimes altogether too true. Great work...I can't wait to read more! Sarah |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
I too liked the style and formatting Javier ... the message comes across beautifully in these words, with great closing lines to bring it home. Nicely composed! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Definitely a good message in this poem, well done! *Krista Knutson* "Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." -Confucious |
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Fearless_Angel Member
since 2000-10-03
Posts 57Calgary, AB Canada |
Hey Dopey_Dope: That was beautiful! I loved the message in it and I definiately feel that way some times...Great work! Keep writing for everyone okies? Lotsa Love, Angel |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
damn, this poem is so lsick. I love the content. I can almost see the class struggle here. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well tank youz for all of yer repliez. Very much appreciated. Long live the Queen? Rrrrrrrrright........ I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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