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Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

0 posted 2000-10-04 03:47 PM

Live to cling; prevailing obsessions born.
Eternal sadness, whisked away; briefly.
Understood by few, not even by thyself.
Find him, want him... suffocate him selfishly.

Wishing for a way... to live alone; happily.
This, a feat impossible, thy soul unwilling to comply.
Running far away, before burning again.
Tempted, shamed, hurt... why repeat past doings?

Trust him; yet he bites thy hand ruthlessly.
Run away; only pulled back magnetically.
Ludicrous and fruitless; these things may never change.
Missing him, needing him- existing lonlieness overpowers.

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

1 posted 2000-10-04 04:15 PM

Okay, guys this is a bit different for me... tell me what you think.
Jenn

"He's mastered the art, of looking sincere, his eyes have a way, of making you stay, don't look in the mirror"- Chely Wright

curlygurly
Member

since 2000-09-12

Posts 276
USA

2 posted 2000-10-04 04:21 PM

This was a good poem, a little dark and depressing like but still well-written. It was a little difficult to comprehend but i got the just of what you were writing about.

Curlz

"i've kissed the moon a million times, danced with the angels in the sky"
enrique iglesias

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2000-10-04 08:01 PM

Hey yea well this was dif. but good. I liked it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

4 posted 2000-10-05 06:12 AM

Excellent Jenn! Wonderful language used here, and the pattern throughout your words flows beautifully. I like the same feel/style used in the last line of each verse. Please do try more of this style ... exceptional poem Jenn!

Best wishes,
/Kit

TAP2
Member

since 2000-06-29

Posts 211
Morris, Il USA

5 posted 2000-10-05 10:22 AM

Impressive! But now that we all know that you're capable of writing this style, we'll be expecting more.

Thomas

Let not a word go unspoken,
A thought go unheard,
Let not one heart be broken
Dream of a perfect world.

-Th.A.P.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

6 posted 2000-10-05 10:31 AM

Simply Amazing. This is probably your best work so far. The format/style of this poem is totally different from the rest that you've written. I'm loving it.

keep writing

"Wishing for a way... to live alone; happily.
This, a feat impossible, thy soul unwilling to comply.
Running far away, before burning again.
Tempted, shamed, hurt... why repeat past doings?"

I love this stanza

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

7 posted 2000-10-05 03:46 PM

I also like this style a lot. Very well written poem, I like it Jenn!

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