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Teen Poetry #3
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I Wish I Were New
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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I Wish I Were New |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico 
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NOTE: this style is just a plain and simple style. No fancy words, no hidden meanings, and no symbolism. Some people have asked for EASY READING stuff from me and i'd have to say that this is probably one of those kind of poems. So enjoy i guess. I Wish I Were New: Waiting for decision. Hoping for gain, But deep down inside I know that I've already lost. Giving her love. Receiving nothing back. I can't help but feel attached To the only one I've ever loved. Thinking of complete devotion, Yet attaining only half. I know I have to make my decision. I'm held back by true love and hope. Wanting her heart. Dumped like yesterdays trash. I wish it didn't have to be like this. I wish I were new.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
No metaphors? *Frowns* Hmm, you can write just as well without them...  Wanting her heart. Dumped like yesterdays trash. I wish it didn't have to be like this. I wish I were new. Like yesterdays trash, eh? Just be glad they don't burn trash anymore...but i guess you did get burnt? Well, so much for love... Take care, Viva la internetica! Spreading insanity, one post at a time "Way back in eighty-seven, where we bust rockstands till we get to heaven" |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Giving her love. Receiving nothing back. I can't help but feel attached To the only one I've ever loved. Thats what hurts the most with falling in love...You give someone all your heart to receive nothing...Love hurts but we have to deal with it...Good job expressing yourself... It TaKeS a MiNuTe To LiKe SoMeOnE, aN hOuR tO hAvE a CrUsH oN sOmEoNe & A dAy To FaLl In LoVe, BuT iT tAkEs A lIfEtImE tO fOrGeT sOmEoNe. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I don't think that LOVE hurts. For me what hurts it the contradiction to love, NOT receiving love.......the lack of love. UNrequited love is what you are talking about. When you love somebody but receive nothing back. What pains you is the fact that you are NOT RECEIVING LOVE. Love is 100% good. It's just about the most honorable thing on this planet. There is not one portion of love that is bad. How can it be when love is the only pure thing on this planet? Obviously im talking about TRUE LOVE. So anyway...... the poem is about unrequited love. I have been in love and was dumped. I do not think love sucks.....its the love that i miss. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Well thank you......for writing a poem that i understand lol this is very simple even tho i didnt really get your ones with big words i'd have to say there your best this one is still good just not as good as the others |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
..i'm not sure if this is the first one i have read that has no metaphors..but i beautiful nonetheless..it's pretty bad to be dumped although i wasn't inlove...maybe i'll grow to respect what love is in the future..but for now i don't stand with it..well again a great poem Dope and thnks for the great reply on Preach of the Corporate mother. HUT TWO THREE FOUR! HUT TWO THREE FOUR! the clowns on parade the clowns mascerade rip off your face rip off your brain the clowns on parade -me |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Brande, you made me smile with your comment on how this is not as good as the others. I AM REALLY HAPPY YOU SAID THAT! Seriously, i agree with you completely. I'm glad you didn't just say "oh it was great bla bla bla".....you told me how it is....you said "this is not as great as the others". GOOD! I like the honesty.....i can count on you when it comes to that then! Give me all your honesty from now on.....even if it's harsh. I love to be criticed as long as it's done for my own good. For the benefit of me improving my writing skills and so on. So GO FOR IT! I'd enjoy it!! Anomaly, thanks. And yea i really liked your poem. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I have to tell you that I agree with Branden. I don't think this is as deep as your other poems, and that's what I've come to expect from your posts- poems that make you think. It's my opinion that you should be writing in a style you like, not how other people want it. But it still is a good poem |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Yea lakewalker, i agree. My poems do make people think, including ME. Sometimes i just wanna write in this style that i free flow. In most of my poems i have to think of all these metaphores and symbols....i mean....it's very hard and tidious when i try and write a deep poem. Sometimes I write them TOO deep. Meaning.....you could get the general meaning, but only i understand the symbolizm cuz it has to do with MY life and not LIFE in general. Meaning the symbolism it written in such a detail that it's too hard to comprehend. Readers get sick of it sometimes....at least the ones here in Puerto Rico at my school hehe. So i write simple for ME....less hastle, less work, but NOT less feeling. Sometimes I find the simple ones to depict feeling in it's pure form. No filtering, no flowery words or metaphors.....just the un-filtered thought of what i think. So yea, but thanks for KINDA liking it haha.....adios I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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