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Teen Poetry #3
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Untitled...(verging on pitiful)
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Untitled...(verging on pitiful) |
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Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
Fling arms skywards, Embrace biting cold, beating rain. Is this 'peace'..? Trudge to school, cars beady Headlights, Don't give me a second glance- All absorbed in the bitter race, all Seeking fulfilment. Sometimes, Breathing is a chore, Conversing a struggle, People try to draw veils over hateful laughter, But their eyes are daggers. Sometimes, The prospect of independence Pushes me in a dark pit- no floor Tearing my soul on unseen knife ridges, Eyes desperate on twinkling light, flickering above, it's Fading. (don't go...) Sometimes, Drown mind in music Where colours shift into mirror reality. But reality is the cold prism Separating the spectrum of lyrics Into a black and white rainbow. In this fleeting moment of self- indulgence I know my search for 'peace' Created those skidmarks over my spirit Trust is non-existent- sentimentality firmly Ruled Out.... By the screech of tyres running, obliviously Over my faded shadow. "Controlling my feelings for too long.... And forcing our darkest souls to unfold... And pushing us into self-destruction...." *~Muse*~ |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lani_DarkOne - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"Sometimes, Drown mind in music Where colours shift into mirror reality. But reality is the cold prism Separating the spectrum of lyrics Into a black and white rainbow." Excellent descriptive piece Lani_DarkOne! It has a unique flow that reads very well, nicely penned!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Hey i liked the format and style of this whole poem. I think it rocks. Great job!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
sorry bout the repeat. i clicked it twice... [This message has been edited by Ethan_Halo (edited 09-24-2000).] |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
your words paint a vivid, descriptive picture. the part about falling and tearing your soul on unseen knife edges... well penned! how about "For Peace, wherever it may be found" for a title? great stuff, as usual. keep it up. Everyone's got their demons. We all got somethin' to atone for. |
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Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
Thanks... "Controlling my feelings for too long.... And forcing our darkest souls to unfold... And pushing us into self-destruction...." *~Muse*~ |
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