Teen Poetry #3 |
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A Civil War That Was And Is And Will Be |
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Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI ![]() |
Bleak is the world we dwell in Weak are the minds of our race Meek is the child you hold in your arms Streaked is the blood o'er his face Bold are their cries of warfare Cold are the stares that we see Told are the secrets our forefathers kept Sold is the soul of me Bent are the eyes of the nation Spent is the time of your life Sent is the angel to take me home Lent are the hearts filled with strife Vain are the efforts to cease the blood Sane is the man who can fly Pain is the state our minds brothers are in Slain are the children and I. Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. |
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© Copyright 2000 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved | |||
anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
SO TRUE!!!!..well i really loved this so keep it up! "'I am the the lizard king I can do anything I can make the earth stop in its tracks I made the blue cars go away |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wow! Incredible format Child of the Stars, very unique and exceptionally well done with the rhyming scheme. Your sentiments are powerful in this piece ... much enjoyed! ![]() Best wishes, /Kit |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought this poem was simply amazing. No other word can describe it.....well....yea a lot of words can but i choose AMAZING! so there! Anyway it kicked serious booty. The format, ryhme scheme, style....holy....everything was there to make me say "Oooooo Aaaaaaa" so yea good job mamasita! ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Thanks everyone.... ~Carly Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. |
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Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
Harsh reality unfolds in an undeniable look into human nature… Whoa! I need to up my medication… Anywho, good work. This is a definite keeper! “Bent are the eyes of the nation Spent is the time of your life Sent is the angel to take me home Lent are the hearts filled with strife “ So blisteringly true… In-wishing-you-could-dance-in-the-rain THERE IS NO SPOON! Spreading insanity, one post at a time Singing, "If i die before i wake..." |
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Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Thanks bud. glad ya liked it. |
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
Wow, this poem flowed so well!! It was an interesting way of making it rhyme...very nice. Luv Always, Shell!! **Life's too short to drink bad Wine** |
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Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Thanks Angel!! |
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Allan Riverwood![]() ![]()
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I have to reply to this one... marvelous job on this! The format of it was very original, working with the first words of each line as well as the last. Well done, it's to the library, where it belongs. ![]() ~Allan Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it. ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale) |
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