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Teen Poetry #3
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Friend
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Friend |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Yucky...I don't think I've written a commendable piece in the past 6 months! It's that "unmentionable" thing acting up again.(wb) Ugh! Vreni Compatriots of late, that has gone and passed You distanced yourself, run from your past. The blame on my head, a crown of twisted thorns The threads that bound us together now old and worn You cannot fathom me, for I am inadequately complex I'm everything you're not, my very being you does vex. My presence exasperates you, I outshine your star I am not fraudulent, a masked doll, as you are. I perceive the inconspicuous, what your senses sense not I see our fates, though you fail to recognize the plot. Alas, I was willing, able, and innocently eager To forge a truce, a peace, perhaps a friendship meager. But friendship's sail has been slashed, it's boat foundered. Dashed upon the rocks of hatred, camaraderie floundered. Within a storm of replaced sentiments, the hatred swirled, Waves of pure jealousy, the winds of resentment whirled Torrential downpours of insecurity perpetually rained Blown sidelong by gusts of affection too long feigned. In it's wake, this tempestuous squall left a survivor lone Abhorrence of such might it's existence you dare not intone. So silently you'll plod forth, in the ensuing calm Purposely ignore reality, and pretend nothing is wrong. |
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Nikkisweet Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 183Tx, Dallas |
Woah, big words there. I don't think I understood most of it, but if I'm correct you're talking about friends. This was a good poem and i look forward to reading more from you, except maybe next time, make the words not so big... j/k |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
This is a great piece! I loved the way that you made the emotions into forces of nature. The message was pure and clear and the way that you described every emotion was brilliant. Great work! ~AF~< !signature--> "Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement." Christopher Fry [This message has been edited by anonymousfemale (edited 06-23-2000).] |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
yes a great piece indeed but the words are so big LOL beyond my brain power. great work keep them coming coming so i can read them. I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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Christopher J Member
since 2000-06-21
Posts 94 |
A very good poem...how it is everybody but me writes such beautiful poetry..keep up the hard work!!!! |
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TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa |
Great poem...absolutely fantabulous  I feel exactly this way...keep it up Waves...amazing hey? Wind blowing over smoothe ocean water creates shear. The longer the wind blows, and the futher the fetch, the more energy gets transferred from the wind to the water. What started off as a breeze 1 000km away, ends up as a glass-faced barrel at some far off beach. |
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Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
This is excellent. The storm image you used is so full of emotion, expressing what you feel so well. And I can truely understand what you're going through...I've a feeling that 'storm' is gradually approaching a person and me, actually when I read it again...maybe it's already happened...we've grown so far apart. I love the line: "I am not fraudulent, a masked doll, as you are. I perceive the inconspicuous, what your senses sense not" Keep it up(whether or not it;s your 'best', it's always excellent!! )< !signature-->[This message has been edited by Lani_DarkOne (edited 06-24-2000).] |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Nikki, anonymous, Jeremiah, Chris, Tears, and Lani - thanks for you wonderful compliments! Nikki and Jeremiah - Sorry about the Big Guns vocab - maybe next time I'll stick to one syl. words ..okeydokey? LOL j/k Lani and Tears - It's unfortunate that you can relate, because friendships gone sour are not something enjoyable, indeed! Good luck w/ yours, and if all fails, here's a hug to store away!  hug : |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
What a powerful expression of emotion! This is a beautiful poem though the topic may be sour. Take Care! Love and hugs, Lizzie "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Esp - thanks for your lovely compliments! Indeed, the topic is sour, but alas, at least poetry allows me to constructively express myself. :.) Thanks again for replying! Vreni |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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