»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #3
»
Defend Yourself (4th Wave)
| Teen Poetry #3 |
|
Defend Yourself (4th Wave) |
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico 
|
This poem is not the best. You don't want my opinion on this poem, i'm not here to give it to you. Anyway.......I'm posting it cuz i don't need all the "ok ones" in one day.....soon enuff. But for now, this one is fine enuff for the purpose. Defend Yourself: Do you ever see the world In the eyes of the weak? And do you ever wipe the tears Off your solemn cheek? I don't know where it went. I don't know what to do. I'm living while dying. Yes, it's true. I'm running away from my heart. I'm headed for the end. I'm trapped in a corner Trying to defend Myself, From me From me  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
HaVoK Junior Member
since 2000-09-06
Posts 31DETROIT, MI |
That's tight...E.I. If that's "OK" than I don't think I want to see the "GOOD" ones... I might have to take a break to change my underwear...lol _.~'"'~._HaVoK_.~'"'~._ It's better to burn-out Than fade away....... |
||
|
Virgin Suïcide Member
since 2000-08-11
Posts 319Netherlands |
dieuwdiedieuw....still happy.....but wnated to say that your poems ARE GOOD!!!!!!!!! dammit!!!! luvz, VS! I dream about how it's gonna end Approaching me quickly Living a life of fear I only want my mind to be clear... ~*~silverchair, suicidal dream~*~ |
||
|
Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Damn Dopey if you say this is ok I want to see your best poem...This is really good!!!Actually its like perfect...Keep it up!!! ~*If I was to die & could be 1 thing I would be a tear born in your eyes live on your cheeks and die on your lips*~ |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Well done Javier! I like the emotion pulled from the depths in this piece. Anxiety and turmoil rolled within these words ... excellent expression!  Best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
damn Javier, I'm impressed I like this 4th wave of your's it shows that you've been writing a long time A lo mejor te deben publiquar a ti caballero |
||
|
Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Don't try to downplay your work...we're not falling for it lol This was really great! I really admire your way with words. Keep writing!~Kristin~ ~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~ ~*When does something that you thought was so right slap you in the face and becom |
||
|
MoonPrincess Junior Member
since 2000-07-17
Posts 29Wisconsin, USA |
Dopey~ Whether you think so or not, this poem is wonderful... You have such a way with words, and when other people feel the same way, and you write something like this, it puts things into perspective for those others... good work... ~Kristi Lynn "Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear." |
||
Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Hey wassup? If this is good in your eyes, you must have some really high standards or somethin. Damn. I like this one though. What is good to you? I'd like to know. Forks,spoons, and knives all the way!!! Love ya, Allysa Don't wander throught this glassy surface, expecting to find more than me, because what I am without a purpose, but a lone mirage to see. |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I have EXTREME standards. I am talking EXTREME. So far, every single poem that I have written i can find something wrong with it. Thing is, I have realized that A LOT of poets write first drafts, and then revise the poem, and make a final draft, and maybe correct it later. I just wing it. Whatever comes on the paper comes. I CANNOT correct anything except for spelling and grammatical errors. If i change something within the poem, then I am not fully portraying what I felt at the moment. I mean, if the wording is all messed up that's ok cuz i was probably so messed up that's how it came across. So you see, in my eyes a lot of the work is crap. Ok, plus i compare myself to my one and only idol. I try not to idolize a person but it's very hard to when you like everything this person stands for and does. Billy Corgan, lead singer of the smashing pumpkins. His writing style is AMAZING. I try and mimick him and so on. I will consider myself a good writer when I am like him. So yea hahaha I do have high standards, but i do love the compliments. Helps me write more! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
