Teen Poetry #3 |
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time to live..time to die..time for nothing..time to jump..i fell asleep |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
i stare in wonder at my shimmering past that hangs in the clouds a raven as black as the unknown fly's through me in it's last attempt at death and all the while a dark figure in the dead of night whispers in my ear, 'there nothing left to do' 'there's not much left to loose' loneliness and nothingness attack like the razor in my hand two forces of magnificent power tear my body apart from its seams the single tear that is shed freezes like my mind in winter the maggots of repossession building inside my stomach have started to eat and i lost myself when searching for love but i found myself when waiting for death 'there's nothing left to do' i'm too tired to use myself 'there's nothing left to loose' i'm too tired today to live i am already dead within my head and the cliffs of composure await my arrival i'm even too tired to jump Now night arrives with her purple legions Retire now to your tents & to your dreams Tomorrow we enter the town of my birth I want to be ready. - JM |
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© Copyright 2000 Alexei - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Kick ass anomaly! Once again another great poem! I like the lines about you loosing yourself in love but finding yourself in death. very depressive, i can relate. The ending is amazing. Its so tiresome to read hahaha, its like i feel the feeling of the poem. You're just too tired to even kill yourself and i was like ".......im tired"... hahaha i dont know, im weird. I loved the poem though. GREAT! ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I like this too ![]() |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
well thank you two for replying..i wrote that a few nights ago in a particular time of distress..but what can i do?..well i'm starting to think i should purely write a lot of love poems with the word cute and sweet in the titles becasue that might be the only way i can get a lot of response..oh well...just trying to bump this up a little. Now night arrives with her purple legions Retire now to your tents & to your dreams Tomorrow we enter the town of my birth I want to be ready. - JM |
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Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
I was just lookin thru some old poems on here and I came across this...it is amazing.......wow...........im speechless... ~Carly The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned. ~Isaiah 9:1-2 |
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CLBinLOVE Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 147Hilton Head, SC, USA |
nahh its not the love poems that get responses its the "PLEASE READ RESPOND NOW I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU THINK" that gets the cake hehe but anyway....wow, this was...IS one of the best poems ive read, maybe ill try that style of writing, usually i jus rhyme words together and thats getting old but this...this i really really like! always follow your heart, never follow others unless it is truely where you want to go, and never give up a dream, maybe just set it aside for a while... :) |
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Jenn Cirrincione![]() ![]()
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Good poem, kinda sad though. The only thing that bothers me is that loose should read lose in the context you're using it in.... other than that..... good work. Jenn "Guess I'm not smart, I let you un-nerve me, I let you control me; afraid the truth would hurt me, when it's you that hurts me more." TLC |
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