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Teen Poetry #3

When Your Luck Runs Out

Holden
Junior Member

since 1999-12-23

Posts 26
Brighton East, Victoria, Australia

0 posted 2000-08-28 05:22 AM

Feeling Lucky?
Only one in the hole.
Click.
Looks like you are.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Hold up, you're going too far.
Only two chambers left,
one of which is packing a surprise.
Click.
One left.
Don't do it.
Open your eyes.
Look at your life for all it's worth.
It's been 17 years,
103 days,
19 hours,
and 14 minutes since my birth.
It's been 9 years,
249 days,
22 hours,
and 58 minutes of pain on this earth.
Don't do it.
It's not worth it.
Please.
Click.
Bang.
Thump.
Your luck is over.

'I once picked a daisy's petals searching for an answer. I went through 10 daisy's before getting the answer I was looking for...I love you.'

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

1 posted 2000-08-28 11:06 AM

I don't think I fully understand the meaning of this poem, could you help me out a little? I do I like how it was written though, it's a good style.

Erin
Member Elite

since 2000-06-15

Posts 2527
~Chicago~

2 posted 2000-08-28 01:14 PM

Holden~~~Oh boy do I like this...this is really good!!!

Lakewalker~~~The poem is talking about someone putting a gun to their head with only one bullet in it...And the "clicks" are the part where it is empty...Talking about how long they have lived for and then how much pain they have been through...Then the last "click", bang then thump is when they did shot themselves...

I give you props for this poem...Keep up the good work!!!I cant wait to read more...

~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~

TearsOfPearls
Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa

3 posted 2000-08-28 01:18 PM

Wow! This is a fantastic poem...fantastically written! I love it! Great poem Holden...keep it up.

Waves...amazing hey? Wind blowing over smoothe ocean water creates shear. The longer the wind blows, and the futher the fetch, the more energy gets tr

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

4 posted 2000-08-28 01:52 PM

Well, now that you point it out it seems so obvious! But that's how it always goes. I just want to say again that I like this, it very well written

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