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Teen Poetry #3
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Just Those Midnight Babbles
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Just Those Midnight Babbles |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Tell me what you guys think....it's been a while. My heart, oh you condender to emotion, Why whisper my name when trouble seems to lend? Or sing me a silent song of praise upon a gruesome end? Why with kind words have you fondled my right and wrong? Or why break and enter into my mind and stay for however long? Why do you shrivel up this pride and make a fool of me? Or take my conscience and hang it for all to see? Why when my envy rages do you flash it all before my eyes? And take my shame and post it as clear as tonight's skies? Why when I'm feeling blue do you like to taunt my dignity? Or find a why to turn me colors and take away all serinity? Why do you give me back those memories I saw in dreams? When I hurt inside, why rip apart the seems? My heart, Why do you through it for my eyes to discover? Like the start of a masquerade party, no other? Why with all this pain and anguish, do you only me trust? And why do you allow my soul, the tremble of utter self-disgust? Oh heart, Are you the devil for me to find? Or are you Satan just inside? Cause if you were, I'd pull you out and break you, Cause I fear you'd get to me first, And leave my heart shattered and robbed, Like that window in the street. 8-23-00 [This message has been edited by Ron (06-25-2011 10:06 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Salooma - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
salooma~~~i thought you said your pen ran out of ink???LOL this is a really good poem...girl i give you 2 thumbs up!!!keep up the good work... ~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~ |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Wow...I really like this one Salma...I can't quite put my finger on as to what it is...but it just has something. Charming...strong emotions...well written..I'm sure it's one of those.  Angel Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns. ~*Guardian of Light*~ |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Wow! This was awesome. I am so glad that you have written another great piece. Sorry I havn't been around, I was in Long Island. Anyways, strong poem here, it was really well thought out and delivered the message with a purpose. Love, ~Jeremy~ "I will know where I'm headed, 'cause I'm so tired of the suffering, I stand before you, a weakened version of your reflection." ~DMX~ "Prayer III" |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
I like your poem a lot. It's very well writen. As for the emotion it has, I know it all too well. So who is this creep? A family member? classmate? Coworker? "friend?" Lover? |
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JnR4eva Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 377Bronx, NY |
wow this is good salooma...this is VERY good....i think you should post this in the open poetry section as well so that we(the ones in open poetry) may be able to enjoy this fine work of art u have here...i loved the lines...." why do u shrivel up this pride and make a fool of me or take my conscience and hang it for all to see"...My my those are some powerful questions!< !signature--> "my love is my motivation my love is my inspiration perception of this poem is your interpretation" -- me [This message has been edited by JnR4eva (edited 08-25-2000).] |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Great poem I really enjoyed it keep up the awsome work! Lauren |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
You guys are amazing...thanks for the wondrful comments! Erin - Is that an 800 posts I see by your name?? only a few til member emertius? keep going and as for my pen, i went back-to-school shopping and bought a new one Dark Enchantress - Thanks so much for the kind comments! I really appreciate it, you have no idea...comments like these make me wanna write more! jeremydraul - I was wondering were you were! Nice to have ya back and thanks for the wonderful comments... Jose Matri - Thanks so much for reading and replying and to tell ya the truth, i wrote this after a fight with a "friend" as you said and I guess the questions though were more directed at myself...at my heart, because I felt that it was the one doing the damage not my "friend." Thanks again, I'm glad you liked it. JnR4eva - Thanks so much....I've posted in open before, but ppl don't really know me in there so they don't really see it. But hopefully I'll post it in there soon. Thanks for the comment....I'm glad you like it. TopGunLauren- Thanks for the kind reply. You guys are great! Salma |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
salooma~~~what is member emertius???cause i have no idea what it is...ohh and for that pen shopping, that was a job well done!!! ~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~ |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Memeber Emeritus is a member with 1000 or more posts....like LoveBug I think and Poet Devine.... You're almost there!! Hoorray! Salma |
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