»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #3
»
I Prevail
| Teen Poetry #3 |
|
I Prevail |
|
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair 
|
I Prevail Words of ignorance, simple minds, Sudden impulses, quick implies, Evil intentions, people of all kinds, Blistering coldness, sadistic lies, Bring me down, never will it work, I stand, and look down on you, Selfish thoughts, devilish smirk, Predictable, I know what you'll do, Harsh actions, make me stronger, Urges thrown, reflect off me, Time allows you to suffer longer, Demented signs, neurotic intensity, You don't phase or intimidate me, I'm like stone, built to take this, Fists of fury, a mouth of vulgarity, Indestructible, you're too curious, Back off, let me be my way, Walk away, don't make it worse, Last words said, call it a day, Arrogance will create your curse, Comes the end, you're left stranded, In this bath, you've created from hatred, Lies of fiction, you're now branded, Look to see, things you shouldn't have said, Love, ,._-=-~^* Jeremy *^~-=-_., < !signature--> "I will know where I'm headed, cause I'm so tired of the suffering I stand before you, a weakened version of your reflection" ~DMX~ "Prayer III" [This message has been edited by jeremydraul (edited 08-19-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
This is awesome. I liked the style here, it flowed good and the message is great. Thanks for sharing Jeremy  |
||
|
Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
I LOVE IT jeremy!!!i love how you made ever other word rhyme!!!wow...i am soo speechless right now i dont know what to say...keep up the good work...i cant wait to read more of your work!!! ~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~ |
||
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Lakewalker - Thanks a lot, I just wrote about what was on the top of mind, which was that Im sick of people telling other people what to do and how to run their lives. ERIN - I love to rhyme, it makes my writing sound meaningful. It's so sweet of you to say such words, thanks a bunch! Love, ,._-=-~^* Jeremy *^~-=-_., "I will know where I'm headed, 'cause I'm so tired of the suffering, I stand before you, a weakened version of your reflection." ~DMX~ "Prayer III" |
||
|
kimmy Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 98 |
jeremy i completely agree with the message~i hat when people try and control peoples lives...in the process they are really ruining the relationship with that person..or at least that is what i think..but i loved your poem..keep on writing.. |
||
|
JR Junior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 22morris il |
Jeremy, Great job on that poem. It had a darker tone to it and i usualy dont go for that kind of stuff but you did it wonderfully and i hope to see some more great work in the future. --JR |
||
|
TAP2 Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 211Morris, Il USA |
The optimism and self assurance you've conveyed here should inspire all of us to realize that no matter what people do or say, we are who we are and should never let anyone comprimise that fact. Good job. Thomas Let not a word go unspoken, A thought go unheard, Let not one heart be broken Dream of a perfect world. -Th.A.P. |
||
|
Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
This is absolutely brilliant! The message is what I've always believed in and I can relate to it 100 %. Keep posting "Controlling my feelings for too long.... And forcing our darkest souls to unfold... And pushing us into self-destruction...." *~Muse*~ |
||
DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
Hey babe! Well..lol this was awesome as usual! you're word choice was excellent. everything flows just right. loved it! Keep up the great work, and i mean great! ~!*DQ*!~ "One fine day you'll look at me and know that love was meant to be" ~Carol King |
||
|
Emmaline Junior Member
since 2000-08-20
Posts 15 |
Jeremy ~ I really liked this. I can definetly sense your frustrations with these emotions and/or people. This is a great piece of writing and keep up the good work. ~ Emma |
||
|
Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
Jeremy, I loved this poem. Keep up the great work. I liked how you wrote this. Chel "True friends stab you in the front" "True love last forever" |
||
|
Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Woaa seems like I'm always the late one! I'm sorry....but this was absoulutly wonderful, changed your pace a bit, huh? But great J, so great! I loved it! Salooma |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
