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Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2000-08-17 09:30 AM

If I cry,
can you see the tears?
When I scream,
can you see my fears?
If I laugh,
do you ever know why?
When I'm sad,
and I want to die.
Can you see,
the way you make me feel?
You don't know my pain,
which is very real.
You're not inside my head,
you don't know what goes on.
You're never there,
to here me sing my song.
You can't see,
the way you've touched my life.
Lifted my spirit,
from sorrow and strife.
Your glorious world,
where I don't play a part.
You can see,
my battered broken heart.
You're not there,
to see the good and bad.
You never comfort me,
when I'm sad.
And yet I can,
never ever tell you why.
This secret I keep,
untill the day I die.
----------------------------------------------------
Hey all! Long time no see! Hope you like my crappy poem! Would any of y'all know of any good Eminem sites I could go to? I can never find none! Bye~!

Loves may seem forgotten, but the true will once shine through.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

1 posted 2000-08-17 09:50 AM

This poem is not crappy. Why do you even say that? I love your style of writing. This poem is actually very heartfelt. This is one of those poems that made me feel like I got sucked into it and felt what the writer really was feeling at the time it was written. Awesome...........I love it

As i wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

2 posted 2000-08-17 09:52 AM

Wow! Thanks for replying! I just made this up. Anybody got any title suggestions? Allysa

Loves may seem forgotten, but the true will once shine through.

jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

3 posted 2000-08-17 12:22 PM

Maybe the title could be "If"? Its plain but it fits well I think. Eminem.com, Eminemworld.com, just go to yahoo.com and search for eminem, you'll find plenty, great poem, cant wait to read more poetic pieces of yours!

love,
,._-=-~^* Jeremy *^~-=-_.,

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

4 posted 2000-08-17 12:38 PM

thanks for replying and jeremy, thanks for the sites. I'm not very good at searching the net. I can never find what im looking for.
lis

Now follow me and do
exactly what you see.
Don't you wanna grow
up to be just like me?
~Eminem~
(Role Model)

It's rock bottom. when life make

Erin
Member Elite

since 2000-06-15

Posts 2527
~Chicago~

5 posted 2000-08-17 05:57 PM

allysa~~~this poem is not crappy...its perfect...i like the way you used your feelings in it...2 thumbs up for you!!!

~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~

Salooma
Senior Member

since 2000-01-28

Posts 781

6 posted 2000-08-18 01:18 PM

this was not the least bit crappy...very good infact! it's to your parents/family right? I wrote one of these last year I think...but i know how you are feeling, you'll get through it believe me!

salooma

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