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Teen Poetry #3
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Loving You
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Loving You |
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Torn New Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 9Williamson |
You, I want to love you And you, I would break True, I can only hold you And you, I'd never take Through you were my friend Now it's over I cannot pretend I feel below her Nails into my back Snakes within me There's no turning back She's within me I only wanted love Felt so cold I wanted love You can forget that Because I don't need that Don't want love Never needed it You took my life And you took my soul And you threw it all away I only wanted love I only needed someone to hold You were there for me Never cut you out And put you under me. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeffrey Barker - All Rights Reserved | |||
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
Great poem, Torn...you showed your feelings well. Excellent display of emotions. Great work!  stay cool  Lavada |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
good job tom!!!you showed your feelings really good...you just poured them out huh???keep up the good work!!! ~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVeN~*~ [This message has been edited by ERIN (edited 08-10-2000).] |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Nice poem, can't wait to read more  |
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Martini Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 308Toronto, Ontario, Canada |
good poem i really enjoyed it |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
nice post...i like the way you wrote these words you used, very unique... "You, I want to love you And you, I would break True, I can only hold you And you, I'd never take" keep these coming.... salooma |
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lupigirl Junior Member
since 2000-06-16
Posts 19Mequon, Wisconsin |
Wow... I guess that's really all I can say... you describe very vividly a feeling that lives so deeply within all of us! GREAT WORK!! |
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SweetPoet17 Member
since 2000-08-04
Posts 108 |
That was an amazing poem , good work. -jessica- |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
While I haven't seen much of your work (I've been busy lately) I must say that I was very impressed with what I have seen. Your thoughts were expressed so well. And as for the situation...Don't go looking for love, it'll only end in heart break, let love come to you, it won't end as quickly. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more! Love Always~*~Jessica~*~ ~*~Why is it that love always starts with a hug, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear?~*~ |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
Hey* I don't think i've ever read any of your work. My have I been missing out! I loved this, and i really liked the first verse. Ya know, this would make an awesome song. Ever thought of putting it with music? It'd be awesome. Just has that special touch. KEep writing because this was awesome* ~!*DQ*!~ "One fine day you'll look at me and know that love was meant to be" ~Carol King |
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