»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #2
»
Decention
| Dark Poetry #2 |
|
Decention |
|
|
Ian Llewellyn ap-Griffith Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 197Cincinnati, Oh, U.S.A. 
|
I dreamed I saw you flying through the solar seaward southern breeze Flying like a spirit through the light encrusted willow trees You circled 'round and circled down towards the daisy littered ground And when your wings had melted you fell down Issuing upon the grass were streams and oceans of your blood Lapping waves upon my feet and threatening to rise and flood The hands of all those lost at sea streatched forth once more toward the land And grasping nothing sank below again And then you rose and bekoned me to kiss you once upon the cheek And falling 'neath your spell I fell upon the floor so tired and weak So then you lay upon me and you took from me my pain and cold And laying there together we grew old So here we lay together through the endless stream of brittle years And we have lied and we have cried a river full of crystal tears And never dying always lying here upon the drafty floor The last alive hear knocking at the door Sing while you may |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Darren Lausa - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
Whoaa! Ian..heavy-duty imagery here. So poignant and beautiful. Thanks...Hardrock |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Very vivid imagery!  |
||
|
Wren Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 312 |
Wow! beautiful! I really enjoyed this one! Keep it up! -Wren The thread of destiny Unknown by anyone Unseen by anyone Winds around your heart Moist with tears -Vampire Princess Miyu Theme |
||
|
lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
This is simply amazing, Oh Celtic bard! It has a very hallucinogenic feel to it, kind of eternal, universal. I love your use of language, BTW! Lotharingia "Dreams are life, reality, creation" Miguel de Unanumo |
||
|
moshpit Member
since 1999-11-25
Posts 143cebu, philippines |
really love the last verse.. good poem. |
||
|
Ian Llewellyn ap-Griffith Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 197Cincinnati, Oh, U.S.A. |
Hallucinogenic, you say? Well, I was inspired to write this piece by Pink Floyd's song 'Echoes'. It's sort of alternate lyrics to the song. Thank you all for listening. Sing while you may |
||
|
Portia Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157 |
This is the kind of technically perfect writing I can never seem to manage. I love the rhyme scheme and the meter here. The imagery as well, is excellent. Such strange images-- the first two stanzas were full of color, first bright yellow, then dull and red, and then all that intense emotion-- wonderful. "And one day...the whole stinking world would be theirs..." -- Velvet Goldmine (Todd Haynes, Oscar Wilde and, unofficially, David Bowie) |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
