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Dark Poetry #2
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| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Untitled |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA 
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Ringing of bells, < !signature-->In the great halls of hell, Leaps of fire, As the walking slaves tire, Singing of witches, Followed by the feeding frenzy of leeches, Condemned from the past, Paying the price at last, Devil calls attention, Dragging the boulder of sins, Humans turned into lice, They assemble around the devil, Pending the next motion from evil. Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create). [This message has been edited by Xeonox (edited 07-21-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ronil B Tataria - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Magebeast Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 60 |
That's pain given life. I shudder just thinking about it. Well done. |
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Dark_kisses_Within Senior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 680Kansas |
Well done mt friend! (scratching my head) But the word LICE always does something to me!  Keep up the GREAT work!DkW Once there was a darkness Deep and endless night You gave me everything you had Ahhhhhh you gave me light |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
Xeonox...this one is NAS-TY...leeches and lice, yuk!!! That's why I liked it so much. From the darkness.....Hardrock |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~This IS nasty,..deliciously dark and nasty. Awesome!!! Be well X. *Peace. |
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DJLI Member
since 2000-06-21
Posts 237TN, USA |
very dark...but pretty cool. EVEN ANGELS FALL. |
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chase_zone New Member
since 2000-07-20
Posts 2 |
xeonox... you are the epitome of sin. heehee. seriously, that was a great one, indeed. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Nice piece, but you can't "grow tire". You can "tire" though, so drop the word "grow". Gothic darkness in this, well done. jwesley |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
Thank you for the help jwesely with dropping the word tire. Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create). |
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Jaysun C Member
since 2000-07-20
Posts 56 |
even at this hour you keep my eyes aglow your crys of demise make me afraid to close my eyes and go to sleep |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
this is a great piece and i do hope to see more i really enjoyed this so dark yet so real. great word play do keep it up. I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
I would bet they wish it was-" I make a motion we adjourn." How about "Meeting of the Damned" I like this btw Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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LarBear Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 138Kingston, New York |
Whoo Who... Im not sure what to say. I just think life is better than that. As far as its written, its written too well. It gave me chills. LarBear |
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