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Dark Poetry #2
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Death Sang Me a Song
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Death Sang Me a Song |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396
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Death Sang Me a Song Death sang me a song last night and cried a tear for understanding. Helpless animals in clouds of swords trampled the meaning. Death's melody playing far into tomorrow, while plastic remains on top and smiles hide the hurt. Through yellow grass and copper pots, it's song echoed in my morning tea. It sang to me a sour verse, of hillside living by towers and bunkers and remnants of war. Of whispers from the past and watches standing still. Death sang me a song last night and left lemons in place of green escapes. Left hair coiled and tea bags torn in messages ringing through. Death sang me a song last night and this song,...will take me from you. |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
Read from a soldier's perspective, this is a chilling and horribly sad poem. "of hillside living by towers and bunkers and remnants of war"....and "of watches standing still" (not timepieces, but those who remain eternally on watch. This soldier knows that he is not going home again. Sorry, SpitFire, didn't mean to ruin your poem...it just touched me a little differently. Hardrock |
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Wren Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 312 |
"it's song echoed in my morning tea" I LOVE this line! Great work! -Wren The thread of destiny Unknown by anyone Unseen by anyone Winds around your heart Moist with tears -Vampire Princess Miyu Theme |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Hon this one is an accomplishment, the perspectives can be taken a few different ways. I really REALLY enjoyed and related to this one. Great work..  I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn..... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Whew, that was very emotional, and written so impressively. Amazing work.. |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
SF, Awesome writing here. Great concept. You just pulled me right in. One of your best. You have my vote. LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Deborah1 Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653New Hampshire |
However the view, this one is straight to the heart. Excellent work here, very, very good!!!! Some real images here. |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
The title alone of this poem is fantastic (what do you mean you're bad at titles?)! A really awesome one! It gave me a kind of futuristic vision of a post-war world filled with rubbish. Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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a-alibaster Member
since 2000-01-08
Posts 392 |
Chilling and so very lovely. Thank you for a good morning read. "There is an alter ego which dwells in every soul..." a-alibaster "I am as I am, nothing more, nothing less, I am tears of pain, tears of Death. |
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Verve Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 348Singapore |
Dear Spitfire, This is such an impressive piece of work! Really liked this one ... verve~ |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Oh I did sooo enjoy this one!!! Very very nice!!!! Bridgette "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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tearsinheaven Junior Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 18 |
Beautiful!!!! and so sad. I love it! |
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taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
Awww... so sad. Another great one from you SpitFire! |
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Magebeast Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 60 |
I've only read a couple of yours, and I can already tell I'm gonna love 'em all... |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Spitfire...this, to me, is the best of your best, and I believe I've read most if not all that you've posted. Very well written in all ways. jwesley |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
well..I am speechless..this was so well written, SpitFire... I could feel the sorrow ~~softly Maureen |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
well you got my vote to. i rather enjoyed this poem and hope to see more like this real soon. this i think leaves people to think and take it different ways much said and much understood by me thanks for posting. I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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