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Dark Poetry #2
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| Dark Poetry #2 |
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elements |
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Portia Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157 |
the rain beats down small stinging kisses the love/hate tears you wish you could cry the stones in your heart gnash against each other pushing for more room crying "over! over!" the fire in your brain explodes in sparks around you but you cannot burn the questions, the jealousy, the demands but the wind blows calm and there, you can see the one who brushes your cheek and carries you home. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Portia - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dedreia Member
since 2000-07-10
Posts 172Kokomo, Indiana, United States |
Pretty deep stuff. I liked the graphic description. Good job. Dee |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
I agree with Dedreia...great graphics. Kinda sad ending...lots of meaning there. Hardrock |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
Portia, yes you have got groupies! Well, at least one, I wouldn't miss any of your poems! Anyway, as for this one, it is fantastic, as usual. It made me feel wet, hot, confused, bitter and then relieved. I thought the ending was happy. Am I dim?? Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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Portia Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157 |
loth, the ending is meant to be happy, or at least relieved. But if it is sad to Hardrock, who's to say it really isn't a sad ending? Thank you all for your kind comments. |
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Deborah1 Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653New Hampshire |
Cannot burn the questions, jealousies, or demands...I can relate to that, very well written, very strong!!!! |
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Wren Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 312 |
I wish I had written this! This is sooooooooooooooo good! I mean it! Do you have a fan club? If not, I'll start one! -Wren The thread of destiny Unknown by anyone Unseen by anyone Winds around your heart Moist with tears -Vampire Princess Miyu Theme |
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