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Dark Poetry #2
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War for your soul
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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War for your soul |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA 
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A war is ready to commence, All planets allied in a formation, In the core you stand looking on both sides, On the west you observe the saviors of heaven, On the east you spot the hatchlings of hell, First clash is on its way From the west an arrow of faith strikes wounding you Injured but not out, you get up, Then from the east an arrow of temptation strikes, Falling to the ground you get up once more, Earth quakes underneath your feet, No means of escape in sight as the armed forces move towards you, The redeemer wants to save your essence, The hatchlings want to satisfy you eternally, Which side shall you pick? As the moments pass by you decide your course, An ivory knife you strike in your heart Your spouting blood stains the earth, Howling in agony mother earth shatters like a wrecked mirror, Your soul has achieved gratis at last, But your surrogate is here and so the battle starts once again Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create). |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ronil B Tataria - All Rights Reserved | |||
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DeathTrippy Junior Member
since 2000-07-15
Posts 45WY USA |
dark war inside ending with a decisive move. Very well written. |
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kynder Senior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 537Tallahassee, Florida |
your poems speak of a soldier who has been in the trenches. you truly have a connection to God. He speaks thru you. thank you for sharing!!! it means so much to me... only God knows how much!! thank you Jesus, for being my surrogate, and fighting the battle i could have never won. amen, kynder Across the gateway of my heart, I wrote "No Thoroughfare!!" But love came laughing by and Cried "I enter everywhere!!!" Herbert Shipman |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
This is an extremely intense piece. Very well done. And the circular pattern (the end is the beginning) is effective indeed!! Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
this is another great poem from you my friend so do keep this kind of stuff up. though i have not read your work in awhile it seems to have evolved into this wonderful work i just read. Take Care I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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Deborah1 Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653New Hampshire |
Saviors of Heaven..Hatchlings of hell, strong comparisons here, well done!! Makes one stop and think |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
Intense, powerful, well written...strong message. Lots of things going on in this poem. well done. Hardrock |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Ditto to all of the above!!! This piece is full of imagery, insightful etc etc. Great work hon  I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn..... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Quite interesting! A straight slice of your inner night penned out for our perusal! Danka! Chris |
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Verve Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 348Singapore |
Dear Xeonox, Superb imagery! i am humbled ... verve~ |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
Humbled was I to recieve so many responses. Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create). |
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