Dark Poetry #2 |
I Will Return |
ChibiDeathscythe Member
since 2000-06-09
Posts 128 |
Like an unborn babe I swim aimlessly and hear a heartbeat that I cannot pinpoint. And like snow on a rosy cheek I stay for a while but then I am gone. But I do not want to leave your company it is soley you who makes me grieve. But I will return and my pricks of bravery in greater numbers overthrowing you. "Suicides have already betrayed the body. Still born, they don't always die, bu dazzled, they can't forget a drug so sweet that even children would look on and smile." -- "Wanting to Die" by Anne Sexton Adversity Builds character. - Japanese Proverb "'Even a fool has one talent'.....darn, I'm not even a fool." - My sister, the master of cunning wit |
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© Copyright 2000 Mary K. - All Rights Reserved | |||
Portia Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157 |
I feel as if there is much left unsaid here. It almost begs a sequel, but in such a good way. But then I am big on lonnnng poetry The imagery is great. "snow / on a rosy cheek" is a perfect image of the fleeting. I also love how the speaker implies that it is the grieving that is the *reason* he/she does not want to leave. Good stuff. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
You have a natural feel for imagery. Kathleen "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace." Elizabeth Barrett Browning |
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Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
I have often felt like a snow flake upon a rosy cheek, and the referral to looking for the heartbeat, simply wonderful, I love to hear my love's heartbeat and often lay there listening, I guess at least I can find hers. this is much more than at first glance. love it. Joel. I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel. |
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~Venus~ Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 128 |
Might I say, first of all, I love your name? Deathscythe rocks! Ahem, anyway. The poem was very good. I loved the imagery. |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
great work i love the poem. i love the imagrey as we'll as the rest. o'yes you asked for a sequel to crossroads so its on itts way JJ I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul |
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