Dark Poetry #2 |
I Hate Titling My Poems |
SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
I Hate Titling My Poems. *I am just really rotten at it, so ha I got away with not titling this one. haha.* You're heated globes flickering like the flaming wax on the windowsill in the hall. Your space invaded your tears bleed your anger eager to wave under rough and calloused skin. I let them in. I swallowed your hate and followed the orders. Your putrid attempts to take advantage of endless opportunities to forever end all I was all I am...without you. In the end,... I struggled to drown all you are in a bed you made a prescription you administered so many times. |
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© Copyright 2000 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Gosh. or is that gush? Maybe both. A torrent Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
SF, my dear friend . . . wow. This is powerful and what images come to mind. Very scary. It will be better in time. Time to dispell the hate and replace it with something more positive. Nice writing here. **HUGS** LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
Time heals all and your wounds are deep. Hope you feel fine over time. Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create). |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
What a poem! Very clever phrasing. There's nothing worse than a partner who demands so much they steal your you! I hate titles too. They drive me mad. I wish there was a title generator on the market! Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
Woah! SpitFire this is such a powerful piece... your expression of things is very good |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Wow, as usual. So strong, and painful. As long as you write like that, who cares about titles?? Strangely enough, I often have a title come into my head and have to make a poem around it. Love your work.. cat.. "If a man moves you to feel like a woman, the least you can do is let him." Merrit Malloy |
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Deborah1 Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653New Hampshire |
I swallowed your hate and followed your orders..its sad when we give up our "selves" in a relationship, I hope your sense of self returns and your pain lessens, Very well written, and we can't always put a name to our feelings, I agree with Cat as long as you keep writing it doesn't matter, Good, Good job!!! |
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Wren Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 312 |
Very powerful poem.....I don't think it was a torrent so much as a full blown storm! A kamikaze maybe.... -Wren The thread of destiny Unknown by anyone Unseen by anyone Winds around your heart Moist with tears -Vampire Princess Miyu Theme |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
Geeeeze...I got chills...I hope this is more of your excellent writing and not your life. Can we just hold hands for awhile...till I stop shaking? Hardrock |
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allan Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620On the road |
Excellent and so well crafted poem Spitfire. You painted this picture very well... Great wordage! Allan [This message has been edited by allan (edited 07-12-2000).] |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Spitfire, this is very intense and wonderfully written piece, one that should be read on the porch but I don't have one. Hope everything is ok. Take care. peace. "I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else" faster-Manic street preachers. |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
"I swallowed your hate" "to drown all you are" "in a bed you made" (SNAP!) "Zzzzzz!" Hi SpitFire it's the LORD Seems you might need some extra sleep? Tonight you will dream a nightmare with insect in it! This will give you visions on your next poem!! Do you understand? "*Peace" (SNAP!) (SNAP!) "Zzzzzz!" You will hug your pillow very tight. Do you understand? "*Peace,*Peace,*Peace" (SNAP!) Interesting lines you wrote SpitFire!! Now go to the top! Ha!Ha! |
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Ashley~Marie New Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 5 |
"to drown all you are in a bed you made a prescription you administered so many times." I've taken a similar medication...you penned the side effects well. |
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