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Dark Poetry #2
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In the Night
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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In the Night |
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sgreybe Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 209London, UK |
(This is a translation of my poem: In Die Nag, which is the original Afrikaans version, hence the lack of rhyme): IN THE NIGHT: I wake with a fright, peaceless The devil and his helpers Force my soul and spirit apart Reality and dream, in and within each other The whole night, through everything I know they're there From the distances of my guilt and the depths of my hurt Doubt and a nauseaus feeling Ring their familiar bells again My restless soul begins to calm down I open my eyes I see my life in danger The entire me exposed Something glorious, singing, at the foot of my bed My own wonderful angel Here to save me She creates a peace within me and calmly I sleep again. (not so good in tranlation... comments please) |
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| © Copyright 2000 Sylvia Greybe - All Rights Reserved | |||
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
What a wonderful description of the night, sleep and semi-sleep. I can't comment on the translation since you haven't posted the original  Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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sgreybe Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 209London, UK |
(I didn't think anyone would want to read the original, but if you do, here it is): IN DIE NAG: Ek word wakker, vrede is daar geen Die duiwel en sy helper Dryf my siel en gees uiteen Werklikheid en droom, in- en deurmekaar Die hele nag, alles deur Weet ek hulle's daar Uit die vertes van my skuld en die dieptes van my seer Lui twyfel en 'n naargevoel Hul bekende klokkies weer My onrustige siel begin bedaar Ek maak my oe" oop Ek sien my lewe in gevaar Die hele ek ontbloot Iets glansryk, singend, aan die voet van my bed My eie wonderlike engel Hier om my te red Sy skep in my 'n vrede, en rustig slaap ek weer. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
I liked it just as it is, could not read the original . I think the flow was perfect, an all around great poem. |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
Sylvia...I loved both versions, but prefer the original. It has such a flow to it...even though I have absolutely no idea what it says (other than referring to the translation), and wouldn't even attempt to try to pronounce it. (Well, I TRIED, but it must not have been right, 'cause my dog got up, gave me a mean look and left the room). I always look for your poems, knowing that I will not be dissatisfied. You have never disappointed me. Hardrock |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~I would love to hear the original read aloud by you,...I found the translation to be sort of tearing at me in the beginning and then calming at the end actually. Thank you for posting both,...I found this totally interesting. Take care. *Peace. |
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