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Dark Poetry #2
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On the Tip Top
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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On the Tip Top |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396
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On the Tip Top Tiptoeing on the tip top, of a wooden picket fence. Whispering my thoughts to the wind. While wishing and waving and tripping, seven feet above the earth. Toes twisting and curling to begin. Your beak poking me, nudging me to run. More quickly and freely. Until the wind whispers back and whisks me away, on wings I worked for. I'm losing you, I'm running scared, and the pain's just right. |
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| © Copyright 2000 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved | |||
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Wow, I like this a lot. Especially the last 2 lines. "If a man moves you to feel like a woman, the least you can do is let him." Merrit Malloy |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
I really don't know what to say....it's just too beautiful for words. Hardrock |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
SF, WOW!! You are writing well my friend. Sometimes we need the pain to let us know that what we are experiencing is a reality. That is some image you conjured up. Well done.  LW Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility. --William Wordsworth |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
A very beautiful and elegant poem. Perfect. Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You have moved me again, Spitfire...I agree with all of the above, and yes, the last two lines were perfect. |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
SpitFire-I had to check this out when you mentioned it and I must say; well done. You really do listen to the wind. You have inspired me to listen more closely. Take care my friend. |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
well well can i say this is great? cause it is. i enjoyed this very much and agree with the rest. but i must be honest in the first few lines i thought it was a cat then toward the end i found it to be a bird is that right or did i miss something vital? I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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Wren Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 312 |
This poem is perfect! Its beautiful! Great work! |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
"and the pain's just right" interesting? See you On the tip top |
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