Dark Poetry #2 |
Abstain |
Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
Heaven of gold Hell of fire I live life on an Abstain wire Surrounded by Lies Of a darkened Heart Diverged away Not Playing my part. I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul |
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© Copyright 2000 E'Val - All Rights Reserved | |||
Necro Draconis Member
since 2000-05-19
Posts 115 |
I like this one Good Job Let nature guide your soul. Follow the path that nature gives. |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Jeremiah Johnson,...short and power-packed this one. I too feel that I am surrounded by these very things. Nice writing...I like the strength in it and the format as well...well done. Hang in there,...take care of you. *Peace. |
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kynder Senior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 537Tallahassee, Florida |
what an image you create here... like a tightrope walker, barely hanging on. excellent work here, jj!! kynder The years teach much which the days never know. Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
Jeremiah, how well you describe the feeling of alienation here. This is brilliant! I want to read it over and over again! Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Surrounded by Lies Of a darkened Heart Diverged away Not Playing my part. I know the feeling, a powerful poem. dark and intense. ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. "Art is a lie which makes us realise the truth." Piccaso "You do not destroy an idea by killing people; you replace it with a better one". Edward Keating Pablo Picasso ----- |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
I too know the feeling you've described here. Wonderful imagery hon. It always amazes me to see the way people describe their pain, the images they create... We all do it differently but are all gifted in our own little way. Great powerful work here hon I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn..... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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gothicmoth Member
since 2000-06-05
Posts 89 |
I like how the rhythm and the sounds at the end make it seem like the wire just snapped. Nice work. |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
Thanks to all of you for your replies. i'm trying to keep up with all of your poems as well but it's hard cause by computer is down. thank you all |
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Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
hey JJ you got your PC in order yet?? this is a great poem, abstinence from life living it on the razors edge?? me to. love the sound kid. haha HHHHHHHOOOOOOWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLing great. Joel.. I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel. |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
Yes joel the wolf I have got my computer back and i've never been this active on it. i love poems how they express the soul. I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul |
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Swåmp¤Faerÿie Member
since 2000-03-29
Posts 358Illinois |
Great rhythm,short,but it got the point acroos real quick =] i liked it. Very goo d=] swamp And there she weaves by night and day, a magic web of colours gay.~Tennyson |
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