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Dark Poetry #2
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I Am...
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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I Am... |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
I Am.. A broken shell, putting Humpty Dumpty to shame and there are no king's men to put me together shattered in a thousand pieces. I Am.. Lost in a forest without a single path with briars and thorns and gnarled, twisted roots jutting up from the marshy ground, sucking at my feet, pulling me down. I Am.. The night without moon nor stars with a bitter wind blowing through my eaves rattling the windows and picking apart every last bit of hope. I Am.. Hollow.. Desolate.. A naked, vulnerable being caught in a mudslide of pain and frustration. With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe [This message has been edited by dragonpoe (edited 11-28-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Joann Renee' Muszynski - All Rights Reserved | |||
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moshpit Member
since 1999-11-25
Posts 143cebu, philippines |
hollow.. desolate.. very powerful words.. u write well, dragonpoe. |
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Bee Junior Member
since 2000-11-23
Posts 23Ireland |
So desolate and hopeless!? A cold shiver of identification running down my spine. Very well written. Hello Dpoe, I Am...so glad I found this site (thanks to Mario and you). I searched allpoets and initially couldn't understand, why the flow of creativity had stopped. I love your poetry and I am looking forward to read it again. Bee. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Dragonpoe I am...amazed that such a gem can be found amid the char and ash. Write on Kethry Why do yesterdays remain and todays pass by ...unnoticed? Rex E. Alford |
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Suzanne Arlene Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 377Ontario, Canada |
wow poe a great read. Glad you are here too. Suzanne |
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firecrakker Member
since 2000-10-20
Posts 235Virginia |
Dragonpoe, I have truly enjoyed every piece of your work that I have read, and this one does not disappoint!  I like the dark fairy tale references in this. Very well done!Sheila |
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taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
dragonpoe... brilliant word usage! Conveyed an image ... much too stark ... but oh so true... Take care! ~ Tara ~ "A poem should not mean, but be" - Archibald MacLeish |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
dp,i have read many poems that start with "I am" but this is certainly most original... i really loved the first verse and am impressed with the way you msde reference to Humpty Dumpty...makes me see him in a refreshing light.... i am only saying this because we knew each other from allpoets and that you will like to have my honest input....your last two lines didnt work for me....Eloquently expressed true but they seemed "empty" to me....i will rather you provide an image that shows how in pain and frustration you are in.... That doesnt mean i didnt enjoy the poem...i did....and im amazed as always at your ceaseless talents..... come visit me at the Corner pub some time in the future  |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
Thanks all. Bee, so nice to see you here. Look forward to reading your works. Kaile, really? Those two last lines didn't do it for ya, huh? Hmm. I will have to think of that, That was the bitterness in the entire piece for me. I wrote this as the emotions were raw and real, so I wrote what I was feeling. Maybe I can find another more powerful way to express it. DOn't know, I kind of like it, but hey! That's what you're here for, to let me know honestly how the reader feels about the piece. Always appreciate it. Again, thanks much to all of you who took the time to read Many smiles to all of you With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
well, dp, if you like them, then keep them...after all what you feel is more important than a single reader's opinion.... personally, i would have liked the poem to have ended with a image, such as those you have woven in the first three verses.... |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
DP...Great piece here. It ALL works for me. Enjoyed it muchly. Hardrock |
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shira Member
since 2000-12-12
Posts 88Hamburg, PA |
Very dark and painful. Nicely done. I liked this. -Shira |
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Verve Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 348Singapore |
Hey DP, I think they said it all. I always love the kind of imagery u seem to effortlessly paint everytime. Great work! ~verve |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
Thanks everyone  )With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
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Allstaria22 Member
since 2000-06-11
Posts 83MN USA |
Dp i loved this poem. i liked the last few lines the best out of the poem myself. they were so real. Thank you for this look into your soul Dana Isaiah 1:18 "Everybody loves a rose, will you be thankful for the thorns?" -All Together Seperate |
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