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Dark Poetry #2
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One Last Kiss
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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One Last Kiss |
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firecrakker Member
since 2000-10-20
Posts 235Virginia 
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Two lost souls, inexplainably collided Neither seeking what couldn't be found We danced precariously on the edge of madness Our hearts inconstant, Desire bound White lie and fallacy snaked evil threads Through the tapestry of our affair Keeping constant, guesses and doubts The basis of feelings we shared Yet, as days and weeks turned to seasons and years Fallacy's thread unwound You captured a piece of this rime colored heart Denying me lonliness bound Now, Woe is me!!! In maturity's wake Damning reality's sobering cry I carve your hands from around my heart And kiss you.. a final good-bye Sheila [This message has been edited by firecrakker (edited 11-26-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Sheila Phillips - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Wow, firecrakker, this is a poignant and startling piece. Write on Kethry Why do yesterdays remain and todays pass by ...unnoticed? Rex E. Alford |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked this one a lot. The last few lines were awesome. keep it up!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Dream Chaser Junior Member
since 2000-11-21
Posts 32South Carolina |
This really drew me in...especially the last few lines. I loved "I carve our hands from around my heart and kiss you...a final goodbye. Great work! Angel |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
You captured a piece of this rime colored heart Denying me lonliness bound Now, Woe is me!!! In maturity's wake Damning reality's sobering cry Very well expressed! "The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest" ~ My Angel. |
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Bee Junior Member
since 2000-11-23
Posts 23Ireland |
What a cracker! Reminds me of medieval, romantic, tragic poetry(...and a lot of a finally broken relationship in my life). Your words embrace the vulnerability of a broken heart and your poem expresses so well, what you often only realize looking back. The last two lines are very strong. The bitterness and disappointment of that last kiss lingers. Great piece! Bee. |
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firecrakker Member
since 2000-10-20
Posts 235Virginia |
Kethry, Dopey_Dope, Dream Chaser, and Eagle One- Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting on this piece.. I appreciate your kind words of encouragement  Bee- Welcome to DP2.. and thank you, as well. You've a lot of insight to what I was thinking when this was written. |
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LM Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585 |
Wow, the last lines amazed me! Wonderfull writing, enjoyed it a lot! Take Care! |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Oh wow, I have to agree with everyone on those last two lines. The whole poem is great, but ouch, that last part hit hard! Awesome description. Sandra |
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kitkat Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878Nova Scotia |
You got my vote on this one too. The poem was wonderful the ending explosive. |
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