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Dark Poetry #2
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Brother voodoo
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Brother voodoo |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa 
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Brother voodoo. Take me from the dust of memory, Where disturbed, dank earth ripples, Give me form, when cool marble slumbers, Through mossed splinters of shattered oak, Call me back, Draw me to you, with root and talisman, Make me whole with your desire, Enslave me with your art, Fill my veins with purpose, Or let me sleep. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Mick Yates - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Excellent writing, Olias... and I appreciate the format also...it is very solid and suits the topic. K The wind shifts like this: Like a human without illusions... This is how the wind shifts: Like a human, heavy and heavy, Who does not care. W.S |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
Well done. good imagery, tho' I have to say this would have been a great piece to expand on and maybe get into more detail of the spirit. But I enjoyed it anyway  With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
Severn, Thanks for replying, glad you liked, Its my first post on this forum, I wasn't sure wether it was appropriate. Dragonpoe, I agree with you about the expansion, maybe this is worth looking at again. Thanks for the comment it is much appreciated. Regards to you both. Olias |
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silentsky Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 114 |
beautiful... i feel like it represents something i am facing right now too, a fork in the road as i face my future...wondering whether my hopes will be achieved or..they just wont be. really well written, shira |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Hey Olias... Well - as far as what is appropriate or not here - just about anything that fits within the guidelines I suppose 'Dark Passions' forms an umbrella for the general tone of poetry posted here...but many members have found that this forum is where they are the most comfortable posting. Therefore, we get poetry on fulfilled love, contentment and many other 'non-dark' experiences posted here. It attracts many poems of a deep, philosophical nature also... Your poem was definitely appropriate and I hope you enjoyed your first foray here. KThe wind shifts like this: Like a human without illusions... This is how the wind shifts: Like a human, heavy and heavy, Who does not care. W.S |
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firecrakker Member
since 2000-10-20
Posts 235Virginia |
Olias, Nice piece of prose, here.. I enjoyed reading it. I agree with dragonpoe, there is room for expansion, but it is not incomplete by any means! .. You've done a great job with this subject (it's always fascinated me!) oh.. and welcome!Sheila |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
loved the title, it grabs you immediately. The poem itself is a work of art... excellent! -Tier |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
I found this a very interesting piece, Olias, and as Severn said, very well suited for Dark Passions. Hope you will be posting more here. Michael |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
silentsky, Thanks for your response, I wish you well on any path you take. Severn, Thanks again, I'm alot more confident about posting here. Firecrakker, Thanks for the welcome and your kind response, I have a rewrite in the oven at the moment. Tiersdin, I pinched the title from an old marvel comics hero, but it seemed to fit, thank you for your encouragement. Michael, I will endevour to try and respond to poems as much as I can in dark passions and post when possible, as people will tell you in open I dissapear for months at a time, thank you for your warm welcomeand your comments. Regards to everyone and Thank you again, Olias |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Olias, Great writing!! very powerful, enjoyed it very much Maree "If my words could blanket the skies and fill every corner and crevice of this earth, still this won't be enough" "Maree Russo" |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
Dark Angel, Thanks for your kind response, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Regards Olias. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
this was great. I so liked the format and the choice of words in this one.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Hey my friend whatya doing in this dismal place? ..lol i see you met the terrible twosome (severn and dark angel) you wanna watch them they can do awful things to a guy's morale ...heh  this was great ... specially like the "mossed splinters of shattered oak" .. i can just see those good job olias philip [This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 12-08-2000).] |
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