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Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio

0 posted 2000-11-14 06:40 PM


hey yall
well i am back.  depressed again but back.  i hope this one is alowed.  its been awhile since i wrote this dark.  right now i am totaly lost.  as you can tell by this poem.  well give it a read and tell me what yall think.  i hope ya like it.

Heart Full of Tears

pain inside me
wont go away
its hard for me to live
for another day
lonleyness eats at me
tearing my soul apart
tears falling forever
inside my broken heart
i cant get your memory
out of my brain
thoughts of what we had together
are driving me insane
what did i do to you?
why did you hurt me so
why did you marry another
i guess i will never know
i gave you everything i had
my heart and soul are yours
i even gave you an engagment ring
who could ask for more?
but no you turned me down
and married someone you barly even knew
yet you still say that i am the man of your dreamz
and that i will always know more about you
when i asked you to be my fiancee
you said that you were scared and needed time
so i gave you all that you needed
i said that would be just fine
but then on our 6 month anniversery
when you were suppose to be up here
you found your new husband to be
and you were with him holding him near
you told me that night
that he didnt mean anything to you
that it was a one time thing
and it was me that you loved true
you said you were sorry
i could hear you heavly crying
did you really mean it??
or where you just lying
you broke my heart into a million pieces that night
but i said it would be ok
cuz i thought that you still loved me
and i knew we could get past this day
but as the days went on
you wernt acting the same
we always used to meet online at midnight
but after that day you barly came
you said that you were working late
and like a fool i was to blind to see
that you were falling in love with him
and falling out of love with me
then you said that we should end this
that you couldnt do this no more
i spent that whole night crying
and shaking on the floor
i wish i could forget you
and just let go
but no matter what i will always love you
and why i will never know
i dont know what it is
that makes me feel like i do
you could shatter my heart again
and i would still unconditionaly love you
i cant take this no more
why cant i just move on
why cant i find another
and break this magic bond
i want you back badly hun
i want to turn back time
where i was still in your arms
and i could still call you mine
all i want is that special someone
that can make me forget about the past
someone that i can call my own
is that to much to ask??
please somebody help me
my heart can be all yours
can you make this broken angel fly again
or will you just slam the door
so i will end this poem
with a single tear
i grab my guitar
and hold it near
so i sit back alone
play me a song, and cry
take a shot of my friend jim beam
and stare into the stary skies
i hope that someone reads this
but all i can do is pray
that someone out there
can take my pain away...

Jesse C. Jaymz


Once upon a time there was a light in my life, now theres only love in the dark, There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart.

© Copyright 2000 Jesse Jaymz - All Rights Reserved
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
1 posted 2000-11-14 07:55 PM


Jesse,
*hugs* I am reading this, there that is a start.  I know your pain how I wish you could move on too.  You deserve so much more than this.
Until you find that special someone know that I am here, loving you as only a big sister can.  You aren't alone babe, there are people who care very much what happens to you.
*smile for Isis now*  Love you
Isis

*I believe every time you put your words to paper, you change. Each feeling is set free, and you may follow.....*
~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2000-11-14 09:36 PM


"And like a fool I was too blind to see
that you were falling in love with him
and falling out of love with me."
Jesse you really know how to write down your feelings...these words are sad and a tragic.
Always sad when one values the relationship more than the other...one is sure to get hurt..and you did...but I know that this time will pass and you will find another...take care of your heart...James

Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio
3 posted 2000-11-14 11:34 PM


sis:  *hugs her tight*  thank you hun.  i am really down right now as this poem shows.  all i have done is cry all day.  i am down as hell and i hate it.  but atleast i have a loving sister in my life to watch out for me.  *hugs*  love you sis.

James:  you know as a kid and all threw high school i was told that i had a problom writing my feeling.  well look at me now     yes i was hurt badly and still am hurting.  i just want to find someone is all.  and all the ones i do find that could take my heart are already taken.   i just dont know what to do.  thanks for the reply.


Once upon a time there was a light in my life, now theres only love in the dark, There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart.

CourtneyNdremeda
Junior Member
since 2000-11-13
Posts 15

4 posted 2000-11-15 01:30 AM


*hugs*
you have such a skill with...making your poetry flow..the rythm is just THERE...

you mentioned that u have a guitar...do you ever turn these poems into 'lyrics' and write melodys for them on the guitar?  

The words are beautiful, and although they alone  already cut into my soul, music would also complement them beautifully.

love,
Ipek

firecrakker
Member
since 2000-10-20
Posts 235
Virginia
5 posted 2000-11-15 06:29 AM


I almost feel like a voyeur reading this..  I wish the person who this was written for could see this..and realize how games can hurt people. Good write.

Sheila

Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

6 posted 2000-11-15 07:57 AM


You dont have a problem now writing your feelngs jesse..you are the best ...God must have someone special waiting for you just around the corner...and you will sing that song..thank God for unanswered prayers..HUGS

              ~Victoria~

                


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)


dragonpoe
Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608
Palm Bay, Florida
7 posted 2000-11-15 08:57 AM


What woman would throw your heart away??? I hope she realizes what she lost. From what I am learning through your poetry, yours is a heart rare, kind and devoted.
This was a heart-wrenching piece, I could hear you strumming that guitar, singing out your pain.



[This message has been edited by dragonpoe (edited 11-15-2000).]

kitkat
Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878
Nova Scotia
8 posted 2000-11-15 11:21 AM


awww Jesse,you have a way of letting your pain  flow through your words..There is someone out there for you and I hope you meet her soon. Take care my friend. {{hugs}}
Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio
9 posted 2000-11-15 11:28 PM


CourtneyNdremeda:  thank you so much  *hugs*  yes i have wrote songs and that before.  in fact my guitar is right next to the comp.     and you saying my words cut into your soul made me blush badly.  thank you so much.  *hugs*

firecrakker:  *hugs*  thank you hun.  i wish she could see that too.  mabey you could show her??    she is from virginia like you.  hey feel free to e-mail me if you like.  i would love to talk southern with someone agian.     hope to hear from you.

Victoria: hehehehe  no i dont have that problom anymore.  you know when i started writing poems in high school my english teacher thought i was alittle wierd.  if he could see me now.  and yeah i hope that someone can take away my pain.  i really need that.  some one to wrap my arms around and snuggle all night.     thank you

dragonpoe:  thanks for saying that about my heart.  i just wish everyone else could see that.  all they see is my hair and that and judge me.  this poetry that i write is the real me.  but no one gets close enought to me to see that     i hope that i can find someone..  thanks again

Kitkat:  *huggles*  thank you for saying i write well.  i just wish at times i didnt have pain to express.     and i hope that that dream girl is around the corner.  *look around his door*  damn not there yet.     thanks hun  *hugs*


Once upon a time there was a light in my life, now theres only love in the dark, There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart.

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
10 posted 2000-11-16 08:37 AM


Dude, I  can feel your pain. I really relate to this poem. My boyfriend and I broke up because he needed time, and what I really need right now is him, because I miss my friend Jesica who was murdered and I really need him, but everytime we start to talk, he has to go do something, and it's just madness. Anyways *hugz*, and I hope you feel better, and some day your dream girl will find you and you will find her and ya all will live hapily ever after.

I can't see at all. Even if I could it would all be gray, put your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.

Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio
11 posted 2000-11-16 12:28 PM


Allysa:  *hugs*  thank you for you reply.  and i am sorry to hear about your friend.  i also had a friend murdered.  and i know the pain it can cause.  *hugs*  i hope that i can find my dreamz again.  i thought it was her and i still do but alasi guess i was wrong.  =[  or mabey i am write who knows.  i am just so lost right now.  thank you hun
love ya
jesse  


Once upon a time there was a light in my life, now theres only love in the dark, There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart.

ThyWizard
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 56
Chambersburg, PA, USA
12 posted 2000-11-16 09:10 PM


Wow.  ~sob~ i really wish i could comment as well as some others...but i was crying be4 i even finished...so i missed a bit of it...really well written and so sincere, but heart wrenching...excellent piece.  I just wanted to add that it's been my experience(which is limited due to my age), that there's usually a pot or 2 of gold at the end of the rainbow...but nobody ever told us that finding the end of the rainbow was gonna be easy
keep your head up and stay strong  )

" If who i am is what i have and what i have is lost, then who am I? " - unknown


Thy Wizard



Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio
13 posted 2000-11-16 10:55 PM


thywizard:  thank you sooooo much for you reply.  it means alot to me that people like my work.  and i like yours to.  so i knew you would relate to this.  =)  glad you liked it  =)  and thank you agian.
peace, love and rock and roll
jesse


Once upon a time there was a light in my life, now theres only love in the dark, There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart.

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