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Dark Poetry #2
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Cause of my Pain
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Cause of my Pain |
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ThyWizard Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 56Chambersburg, PA, USA |
As I sit alone memories flashing in my head, almost like a dream except I’m not in bed. No one knows the pain I’m in I push it deep inside, but I still have these hopeless moments then it’s hard to hide. They up and overwhelm trying to get out, people always ask what I’m thinkin ‘bout. The public gets a bull**** story except a certain few, these close friends that know I’m thinkin about you. Your beautiful face and pretty smile are all before my eyes, and I know my honest heart can’t be telling lies. It tells me though I love you you’re now beyond my reach, and in my mind I see myself alone upon a beach. The tide is coming in, water rolls up on my feet, my body, mind, and soul are burning from the heat. I begin to cry in silence, the sand between my toes, it hurts so much because in love you’re all that my heart knows. Now you’re gone and there’s empty space I just can’t seem to fill, my heart no longer races, it’s slow or simply still. It knows something’s missing and it wants it back so bad, it misses the love and fun that it used to have. I thought we were forever and that we were meant to be, I guess that’s a view to which you don’t agree. So I’ll pick up all the pieces and move on with my life, and hope that the love we had wasn’t all I strife. The road to moving on I know is very long, but deep inside I know that I can be rock strong. Way too many nights of crying to myself, and I just can’t seem to take your picture off my shelf. The tears go on and on, streaking down my cheek, so upset and broken, that I can barely speak. My days no longer have the same old happy spark, no matter what they seem to be so sad and midnight dark. Some day my eyes will dry and the pain will go away, but for now the pain is a price I have to pay. I gladly pay the price for the memories I now keep, especially the ones that make me cry myself to sleep. It’s the happy ones that cause me so much pain, but it’s those very memories that keep me barely sane. I swore I’d never lose you, that I’d hold you tight, until that lonely weekend that I stayed the night. I knew something was wrong cuz showed in many ways, you seemed to be in a constant lonely daze. I asked you what was wrong and you told me it was nothing, it was your birthday, and I forgot to sing. We were almost to a point where we could spend more time together, and I thought that things could only keep getting better. I never thought I’d lose you, it’s gotta be a curse, instead of getting better, things keep getting worse. We stopped talking for a while, communication ended, and it’s not a thing that’ll be easily mended. I wish I could fix it and make it like my dreams, but things are never ever the way that it seems. You fronted and pretended to love me to the end, then suddenly expressed you liked me better as a friend. You expected me to take it with a certain amount of ease, but one simple statement drove me to my knees. I thought that all was well, that everything was fine, but deep inside I hoped, that you were always mine. It was too good to be true and I figured that it was, the picture wasn’t clear, just a bunch of fuzz. So I crossed all my fingers and that I was wrong, but one time in my life I was right all along. I guess I tried too hard to make it all work out, I should’ve listened to my heart when it had doubt. But I was just a fool, blinded by loneliness, sweet bliss and heaven love, another misplaced wish. But once again played by my own mind and lonely heart, didn’t learn a thing, right back at the start. So I’ll wipe away my tears and ease away my pain, love is not a gift, it’s my curse and bane. " If who i am is what i have and what i have is lost, then who am I? " - unknown Thy Wizard |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael J. Lentini - All Rights Reserved | |||
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Oh WOW, I feel the pain, so intensely. I've been there, and I'm still there, and it's horrible, I know. I know they say it will get better. We have to hang on to the hope. If you ever want to talk to someone, feel free to email. By the way, I think you expressed this beautifully, and the flow of the poem was good as well. Take care, and find a little happy thought somewhere, and hang on to it. That is my only advice.. Sandra |
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Verve Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 348Singapore |
Hi Wizard ... This is truly a painful read ... and trust me, i know exactly how this feels... I must say U said it better than i could ever do so. ~Verve |
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MiseryDivine Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 114Chicago! en america...oh lala! i wish i lived in England.....(sigh) |
oh dearest me...you took the thoughts right outta my head...i'm in the same situation right now...your words are just so painful..this was such a good piece..n i know that its not fun at alls...hang on hun...time will pass...your heart shall heal...you'll find an angel..hehe  ...great piece againMiSeRyDivine~ All i want in life is to be happy It seems to me How messed up things can be Everytime i get ahead I fell more dead ~KoRn~~ |
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