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Dark Poetry #2
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The Last Fight
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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The Last Fight |
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!!! Member
since 2000-08-12
Posts 137VA (U.S.A) |
My body this night lies broken; A lifeless shell of what was once me Upon this forsaken, barren land A tragic image of what was NOT to be. When all the stones have been cast And all the words been said, In the very end i ended up going, The way of all the dead. My existence, now faded To a mere shadow in the night, My beaten, broken body on this cold earth, Loses its last fight. -"If it's to be, It's up to me." |
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taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
Wonderful poem  Expressed so well...Take care. ~ Tara ~ "A poem should not mean, but be" - Archibald MacLeish |
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!!! Member
since 2000-08-12
Posts 137VA (U.S.A) |
Thank you Tara, for taking time to read my poem, and respond to it. Your response is very much appriciated. |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Again another wonderful piece of work. But remember the body is only the shell, the essence of who and what you are lies within.. And it has the power to heal physically and emotionally. Get up off the altar hon, find the light again, and this time follow it, never take your eyes of it, as you make your way again along the road of happiness... *hugs* Isis *I believe every time you put your words to paper, you change. Each feeling is set free, and you may follow.....* ~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit. |
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!!! Member
since 2000-08-12
Posts 137VA (U.S.A) |
Thanx, alot Isis for replyin. As for what you said, i trult agree with you. The body is only the physical...the shell of what is pure, and true within. And true to what yhou say, i will keep makin my way down the road to happiness. |
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firejerm Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 217Springfield, OH, good ol USA |
It's amazing how so much can be said with suck little text. I think at one time or another, we all feel as if we are shadows in the night. Thanks for writing this. Jerm "Those little slices of death, how I loathe them." -Edgar Allen Poe |
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!!! Member
since 2000-08-12
Posts 137VA (U.S.A) |
Firejerm, im glad that you enjoyed my piece. Personally, i feel as though in my past poems, i had made them too long, and tried too hard to establish certain elements of the poem. I forgot that sometimes "less is more", and that sometimes you have to be flexible. I still need alot of improvement, though. Well anyway, thanx for reading!! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I think that the "less is more" concept is something that all poets must always keep in mind. You used it wonderfully and the poem was great!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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!!! Member
since 2000-08-12
Posts 137VA (U.S.A) |
Dopey, i totally agree with you, in the sense that "Less is more". And thank you for taking the time to read and respond to my poem. |
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Walking Contradiction New Member
since 2000-11-15
Posts 4 |
Broken but not conquered...fixable I guess, sense of hope in the hopelessness. Did it. Liked it. Keep falling- we'll catch ya. |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
Nicely done. Packed an emotional punch, possessing open pain. Ah, I feel it so myself right now and can connect with this one. Isn't it a great tool, writing, to be able to voice such emotions? Great read. With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
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!!! Member
since 2000-08-12
Posts 137VA (U.S.A) |
W.C., i totally agree with you about what you said. There is always hope, even in the bleakest situations. There is always a way. Dragonpoe, im glad that you took time to read, and respond to my work. Im also glad that you could connect, and identify with it as well. And yes, writing is a wonderful way to express oneself, and one's emotions. That....and art as well. |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
This was nice. I liked the "tragic image of what was not to be" jann elizabeth If you can feel that staying human is worthwhile, even when it can't have any result whatever, you've beaten them. -1984 |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I like this one! I know how tragic wars and fighting can be. I studied All Quiet on the Western Front, in english class. I also work on computers, periodically, in a women's abuse center. It seems like all around us there are awful things like this. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Excellent writing....James |
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firecrakker Member
since 2000-10-20
Posts 235Virginia |
First of all, I'd like to applaud you on how well you've expressed yourself with this.. It seems to be applicable to a variety of situations. I truly enjoyed this. Good job! Sheila |
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