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Dark Poetry #2
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need help with a title... (Please)
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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need help with a title... (Please) |
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Lil OnE Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234Pasco County. Fl. |
I feel chained as the world keeps changing, why won't it change my pain? I feel trapped as my world is on fire won't somebody please send rain? This rage, this hate; they build up inside of me... these feelings so intense... the hate and rage, they blend into one, more powerful, more energized, more concentrated. Where do I realease it? How do you suppose I should vent? I could kick you and punch you, beat you till you bleed. But that's not where I want it to hurt. To hell with the physical... on to the emotional. I'll play with your head, I'll play your game. I'll invade your privacy, make you feel the pain. I'll get inside of you, I'll travel to all extensions of your body travel through your veins. I'll be a glass bottle inside of you fill me up so I can explode. I'll make you go insane trying to hold on to whatever sanity you've got left. I won't stoop to your level, I'll play my own game. I wish you weren't quite so pathetic, it'd be more fun, then, to feed you... to make you feel my pain. "No man is EVER worth my tears, and the only one who is will never make me cry" ~Lil OnE!~ |
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| © Copyright 2000 Christine L. Kelly - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ron K. Fox Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925 |
wow, you have a lot of anger...betrayal needs to be vented...such as you have...as for the title...you could take it from any line in the poem...at least you got it all out. thats the best way to vent. Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Very expressive...I believe a nice title would be "How Does It Feel". James |
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Lil OnE Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234Pasco County. Fl. |
Ron K: Yeah, I do have a lot of anger and hate and most of all, hurt. The scars throb with pain. Thank you for your suggestion. Jmlee: I kinda like that. Thank you both. "No man is EVER worth my tears, and the only one who is will never make me cry" ~Lil OnE!~ |
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LM Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585 |
Wow, very intense reading. Some people deserve to be taught a lesson, a taste of their own medicine... I hope you'll succeed! All the best, take care! "Most girls want a man with the mean green Don't wanna dance if he can't be Everything that I dream up A man that understands real love" |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Hows REVENGE for a title? I know how you feel, I have to fight that feeling too, when someone does you wrong, you want to lash out. But I suppose it doesn't help, in the end. Too bad.. Sandra |
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ThyWizard Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 56Chambersburg, PA, USA |
Whoa, i felt the anger in this one, excellent. Strong emotions the whole way through and very nice neat rhythm(?). Look forward to more of your work  " If who i am is what i have and what i have is lost, then who am I? " - unknown Thy Wizard |
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firejerm Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 217Springfield, OH, good ol USA |
I loved this! I would call it "Dismantled" jerm "Those little slices of death, how I loathe them." -Edgar Allen Poe |
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Lil OnE Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234Pasco County. Fl. |
firejerm.... I really liked that idea. If nobody has any better suggestions, I think I'll have to go with that. (quite ironically, I am feeling rather dismantled today...) "No man is EVER worth my tears, and the only one who is will never make me cry" ~Lil OnE!~ |
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