can't deal

I can't deal anymore
tried so hard again and again
my heart is still sore
need to still hold on
it's getting harder
getting closer to the edge
can't deal with this much longer
doing things I don't want to do
things everyone says I shouldn't do
I try so hard, if only they knew
but they don't know
it's not easy
I am my worst foe
trying very hard
trying so very hard
can't deal
breakdown
too numb to feel
pain comes quickly and sharply
to kick me while I'm down
everyone looks at me darkly
make it all go away!
cry so hard I fall to the floor
I just want it to be ok
see the blood dripping away from me
don't remember what I did
have to check and see
no! I did it again
I cannot stop myself
some help they should send
but no they won't
they can't
my parents said don't
so lonely all the time
lacking love
a person who cares is what I need to find
cannot deal with it all anymore
need some help
to find an open door...