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Dark Poetry #2
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Jonas
Senior Member
since 2000-03-03
Posts 796
Oregon

0 posted 2000-10-15 02:15 PM


Damn
biting hunger
clawing from within
until I scream in the night
trying hard to do what’s right
and not beat my fists on the floor
I’m an out of control derelict
out of touch with reality
living on a dream
and breathing
hope

10/15/00



© Copyright 2000 Gary - All Rights Reserved
Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
1 posted 2000-10-16 12:03 PM


Short but potent. Great work.  

Ronil (The sweet sound of summer sends serenity through my soul searching for that evermore solitude.)



JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2000-10-16 04:13 AM


I like the way you presented this poem..james
ill_tactics
Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 149

3 posted 2000-10-17 12:41 PM


this sounds like something i would write, i love the presentations of the lines, all in all it was short but sweet, good work.  Much love, ONe love peace.....
Jannel
Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492
Muncie, IN, USA
4 posted 2000-10-18 01:46 PM


this was incredibly intense all the way through. i liked it a lot.

jann elizabeth


Don't take any wooden nickels
When you sell your soul
-the eels

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
5 posted 2000-10-19 12:12 PM


Jonas, this so expressed the way I have been feeling. Like you want to scream uncontrollably, but you just barely stoop yourself. Very strong poem. Hope you are not as down as this sounds. If you are, let me just say I am right there with you.
Catalinamoon

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