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Dark Poetry #2
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Me and I
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Me and I |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas 
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Being vain and narcissistic, I had a mirror. No, not a hanging one, but full-length in a frame Placed in the hall where I would pass to see myself clearer; But, then something happened, and I would never be the same. It started several days ago when I got off work late And passing down the hall I saw me wrinkly attired, And gazing at myself I saw my eyes were full of hate, Though I was feeling good and said it must be that I'm tired. I put the incident from my mind and worked after a needed rest. But at work, the cops questioned me about a murder in the Grove. Though I was seen, my alibi won as my co-workers did attest, And rushing home I saw me wearing a bloody latex glove. In my hand I held a knife that I used in the kitchen. My eyes were cold, my smile was cruel, the blade was wet and long. I fled my reflection; in the kitchen my knife was missin', And returning to the mirror I saw my reflection was gone. I was somewhere in my house; I sensed movement to my right, And watched with dread fascination as I walked down the hall, For my reflection flickered in and out, much like fickle light, Holding my knife to the side leaving a crimson score on the wall. Transfixed, rooted to the spot, I pushed me into the wall And I hit the object in a frame, the one which showed me clearer, Being vain and narcissistic, I had placed where I'd pass in the hall. I hit my head and blacked out. When I awoke, I was in the mirror. Trapped within I see me vaunt the trophies of my kill: Entrails, heads, and limbs placed just so, so that I might see Then telling me that I'll be released for to pay the bill Of all the crimes my reflection did. I swear it wasn't me!! |
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| © Copyright 2000 Alastair Adamson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Kind of disturbing, but a good read. To really see it, I think I have to read it again. My name isn't Baby, and I don't want to cyber. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
WOWSA! Got a little it of Robert Bloch, H.P Lovecraft and Ray Bradbury all wrapped up into one poem here....and a lot of Mr. Alicat. A well-spun tale, sir, with excellent construction.... |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This is very heavy-duty stuff, Persnikitty... You're so versatile it's astounding... This is surely and profoundly "dark" in its connotations.. and very well written, of course..  |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Wow, this was incredible reading. I like the style, and the concept of not recognizing yourself or your intent at times. Sandra |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Alicat, I really like this. I don't generally wander into Dark Passions (I wouldn't be here now if you hadn't url'ed me) but I'm glad I didn't miss this. Take me as I am or watch me as I go |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Ali this is a dark one indeed. Eerie and leaving me the chills! Great work! |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I loved it, it was dark, moody, suspenseful, I could almost see the mirror, I wanted more of it, almost turned it into a story in my mind, please write a story (do you dabble in prose) I believe you would be excellent in a short story along this vein, (pardon the pun)< !signature--> Kathleen [This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 09-30-2000).] |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
Chilling, yet so famillar who is that person in the mirror really?  Love it There are enough colours in the world, To paint your own dreams, You won't get them, Till you try. |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Thanks everyone. Balladeer, your compliment/comparison still has me grinnin. Cat, it ain't really about intent, but more of what if your reflection lived out the darkness within, and put you aside to do so. The very image still wierds me out at times.  Eerie Rose (pun on Eire, old term for Irish): Now there's a thought...I'll think more on it, as prose is not a strong-point with me. P'raps I just need more practice. Pax Poeticus Alicat If I were any more laid back, I'd be in a coma. |
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Lady Lost Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 470 |
This is amazing..reminds me of a book I read by Bret Easton Ellis "American Psycho" (the movie version sucks) You write with such passion...I really enjoyed this.........beth "And I still believe you can never have too much fiction because reality is such a bore..." - REA |
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