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Dark Poetry #2

How long will this last?

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

0 posted 2000-09-25 11:22 AM

Alone I feel in the presence of tonight,
Surrounded by darkness I reach for the light,

Scarcely looking before I flip the switch,
Darkness be gone with your evil witch,

Signs of relief fill my mind with some comfort
But how long will this last before the next time I feel hurt?

Ronil (The sweet sound of summer sends serenity through my soul searching for that evermore solitude.)

DeathTrippy
Junior Member

since 2000-07-15

Posts 45
WY USA

1 posted 2000-09-25 12:49 PM

Nice work. I like your comparison here.

bluebrdy65
Member

since 2000-05-16

Posts 276
Gladys,

2 posted 2000-09-25 08:16 PM

oh Wow Great poem
I feel this way too at times
loved it
Blue

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

3 posted 2000-09-26 12:16 PM

Thank you Death trippy and Bluebrdy. I seem to have a fan club here.

j/k

Ronil (The sweet sound of summer sends serenity through my soul searching for that evermore solitude.)

LM
Senior Member

since 2000-08-03

Posts 585

4 posted 2000-09-26 04:20 PM

Hey Xeonox, this is very nice work, short but to the point! Great job!
Take Care!

"Most girls want a man with the mean green
Don't wanna dance if he can't be
Everything that I dream up
A man that understands real love"

moshpit
Member

since 1999-11-25

Posts 143
cebu, philippines

5 posted 2000-09-27 08:55 AM

this is marvelous.. and you managed to do it in three verses.. way to go, Xeonox.

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

6 posted 2000-09-27 12:06 PM

Great comparison here.  Seems to compare the fear of a child in the dark with the fear and weariness of an adult going through some troubling times.

Signs of relief fill my mind with  some comfort
But how long will this last before the next time I feel hurt?

Liked that stanza.  I've felt that way both as a child and now, as an adult!

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

7 posted 2000-09-27 07:28 PM

Brilliant work so many analagies (?) here hon, emotionally... *sigh* excellent work, describing how we all 'feel' at times

*Friendship is a horizon - which expands whenever we approach it...*
~Isis~Goddess~~Sovereign of the Spirit~

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