navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #2 » Observed From A Distance
Dark Poetry #2
Post A Reply Post New Topic Observed From A Distance Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396


0 posted 2000-08-29 03:03 PM


Observed From A Distance

I didn't see you there,
on corners of my cracking,
concrete walking ways
in seconds of my stroll.
Brick by brick a trace remains
and I never recognized your presense then.
I never opened wide enough
to taste you there, to feel your breath
skip by and gently fall within my gills.
It was late then and stars were sad
and puddles gathered hate.
I'm feeling cold now, as I remember it
alone, and scared and wandering.
Searching for the time,
the time of then and now.
It's crumbled and sacred nomore
and it's buckled for the last time.
I didn't see you there
in doors of passing, in glances dismissed.
The night wasn't as tough
and the day just took the cake when it came to that.
I hid behind the hate and swam in the puddle's cradle.
I drank from fountains green with algae,
growth of time and disease.
I ate from fruitless trees and dirty earth.
I never saw you there,
and you observed from a distance,
the way I softly sang myself down blocks
downtown, to nowhere but here.


© Copyright 2000 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved
poutprincess
Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735
Perth, Western Australia, Australia
1 posted 2000-08-29 03:44 PM


"I hid behind the hate and swam in the puddles cradle
I drank from fountains green with algae,
growth of time and disease
I ate from the fruitless trees and dirty earth."

WOW
very powerful images.
this one i will have to read and re-read...
~Dawn< !signature-->

"Steady as it comes, right down to you, I've said it all, so maybe we're a Bliss of another kind" Bliss-Tori Amos




[This message has been edited by poutprincess (edited 08-29-2000).]

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
2 posted 2000-08-29 04:05 PM


Spitfire stunning images, great poem very intense, excellently written my friend.  

"I concede relationships have left me weak Won't be here so I don't care Look for something worthy to replace my guilt" Mansun legacy

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
3 posted 2000-08-29 11:17 PM


Oh my, this is another beauty . You have such a way with visualization. I always see the most amazing things as I read your poems.
Sandra

lotharingia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany
4 posted 2000-08-30 01:01 PM


What an angle you have here Fire. Melancholic and Really Beautiful!
I've been missing your stuff (can't get it together to drop by regularly at the mo   )


Lotharingia
"Dreams are life, reality, creation" Miguel de Unanumo



Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
5 posted 2000-08-31 02:37 AM


Your words speak truth of ages which boils itself to a concept of reality.

Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create).

G. A. Webb
Member
since 2000-01-21
Posts 441
Stanton, California, USA
6 posted 2000-08-31 11:14 PM


Beautiful, simply beautiful. Well done Spit, bravo!  

G< !signature-->

Regret not that which you have done,
Rather that which you haven't



[This message has been edited by G. A. Webb (edited 08-31-2000).]

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
7 posted 2000-08-31 11:28 PM


Bravo Spit!  You NEVER disappoint do you? LOL

*Our deeds travel with us from afar, and what we have been makes us what we are..*
~Isis~Goddess~~Sovereign of the Spirit~


insect
Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014

8 posted 2000-09-03 11:22 AM


You are amazing SpitFire!
This one touched me.
And I must stand up and give my applause with whistles too!


______________________________
She has Fire in her eyes
The brightest stars that burn so wise
May her dreams all be of love
In her eyes that shine above

She looks from a heaven's view
From a distance observed directly at you
Looking up I feel desire
When I stare in the eyes of SpitFire

_______________________________



kat
Member
since 2000-05-20
Posts 387

9 posted 2000-09-03 07:53 PM


This is incredible writing SpitFire!!!  Wow!!
The images, the intensity, everything! Your talent really shines through. I enjoyed this one alot!!  

kat

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #2 » Observed From A Distance

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary