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Dark Poetry #2
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Rosaries and Razor Blades
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Rosaries and Razor Blades |
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Lil OnE Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234Pasco County. Fl. |
Rosaries and razor blades; I cannot trust myself. The lights I extinguish, the impliments of pain I put upon the shelf. Pain and blood: contentment. I thought I could have it completed. I sit here alone in the dark by my fear and weakness defeated. Weakness and inability, I cannot follow through. I feel the need, desire the taste, but the act I cannot do. Rosaries and razor blades, sanctify me through my blood. Take these hands, these useless tools, and release it in a flood. Flow of blood, fountain of lies crimson I desire and crave. But my heart is weak, my mind is dull, I cannot be so brave. Family and love eternal, I feel that I should cry. When all the others watch their dreams, before me, mine die. Depression so black and apathy, I feel I am a fool. I cannot feel what others feel, life is hateful and cruel. Love sought after, but unrequited: yet I reject the love I so need. Some care for me, and I for them, but somehow I'd rather bleed. Rosaries and razor blades, my tools, my crutch, my useless objects of pain I can, in this obsession, lose everything and nothing can I gain. Rosaries and razor blades, for others, not for me. My heart does fear a razors kiss, my blood just wants to be free. Rosaries and razor blades, I cast them both away. I cannot use them anymore, yet I wish I could, so by me they will stay. Rosaries and razor blades, objects of salvation and hate. In neither can I put my trust or resign myself to fate. A slice, a scream of ecstacy, I fear the rush of it all. I fear also the plummit, as into my grave I shall fall Rosaries and razor blades, if only one of the two I could use. I see them both as one in the same my mind is easy to confuse. Rosaries and razor blades, not good enough for one, and the others task is a job that simply cannot be done. Somewhere deep inside my heart hides the cause of such fear. I cannot do it, I cannot scream. I cannot shed a tear. Lonliness and emptiness, I know them in such an intimate way. My life, my heart, all I do... they engulf them and are here to stay. Rosaries and razor blades to my folly again I return... I feel their draw, I hear their call, my blood for them does burn. < !signature--> Never give your heart away, it will always come back broken. ~Lil OnE~ [This message has been edited by Lil OnE (edited 08-21-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Christine L. Kelly - All Rights Reserved | |||
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darkstar Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 230Port Richey, Fl, USA |
Wow...very well written...I feel like that a lot...except the rosaries... Dark Star |
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monique Member
since 2000-02-03
Posts 369Louisiana |
MMMMM Captivating How many rosaries and razor blades do you have? monique |
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MiseryDivine Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 114Chicago! en america...oh lala! i wish i lived in England.....(sigh) |
whoa...thats was intense...yet very well written...i can relate...i feel the same as you do...but wow...i loved the way you wrote this! All i want in life is to be happy It seems to me How messed up things can be Everytime i get ahead I fell more dead ~KoRn~~ |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Hello, I want you to know that I had a really hard time deciding whether or not to pull this one. On the one hand, the suicidal/cutting intent and content is definitely there. On the other hand, I really liked it. I thought that as a whole you explored the emotions and the consequences in depth. You show that this is a "darker side" emotion. It's not healthy, it's not "right." That's the difference, see? Intent. This poem doesn't speak of this as if it's an "ok" thing to do. Rather, you've associated a lot of negative emotions with this, recognizing that the thoughts themselves aren't healthy ones. I applaud you for that recognition. And it's that recognition which convinced me to keep this here. It's when it's glorified that there's a problem. It's when it's presented (no matter how well it's done) either graphically, or without consequence that "we" are telling the reader that it's a "good" or "ok" thing to do, which it's definitely not. And that's my 2 cents. Christopher |
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Lil OnE Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234Pasco County. Fl. |
Dark... you've already gotten my reply  Monique... I have not one rosary...lol... and way too many razors. I used to turn to them daily... and I've been able to not hurt myself since I was discharged from the hospital for attempted suicide. This is a battle I am slowly winning. Thank you! Misery... Thank you SO much. I feel so loved here. People can actually relate to me for once!! Thanks again... and I hope you don't feel that way as much if at all last but not least... Christopher... Thank you for leaving it here. I'm not in any way condoning suicide or cutting. I'm saying that it's something I cannot bring myself to do anymore. Thank you for liking it, though You've really been an inspiration to me here. Thanks again  Never give your heart away, it will always come back broken. ~Lil OnE~ |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Lil One~~~i just read your reply and am happy to here that you are winning your battle. congrats!!!i like this poem alot..you seem to have alot of talent in the 2 poems that i read by you. cant wait to read more!!! |
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