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boji stone
Member

since 2000-08-13

Posts 62
USA

0 posted 2000-08-20 09:42 AM

The darkness within

     a Monster
     has pilfered this soul,
     leaving an abysss
     of eternal tears,
     no felicity,
     I am a bagatelle

     punishment
     for transgressions,
     Atonement for sins
     unknown, or simply
     a cruelty, life's jest

     The monster whispers
     laughing, taunting
     beside my ear
     “you,” says she,“ hold the
     dreams, youth, a gift
     from the gods, I snatch away.
     What good is possessing
     that which can not be savored?"

     desperately I coil, wishing to escape
     the torturing voice.
     Vainity, How does one escape
     one's self?

     I know then, there is a way,
     victory, I will
     destroy the torturer

     Tears glide as I gaze at
     one possible answer in the palm of
     my trembling hand.
     The flickering flame of a match,
     lights a candle,

     I bow my head,
     "Please forgive me,
     I can't bear it any longer."

     beside my bed, I am the ticking
     of the clock, inside my mind
     I am the agony, descending,
     there is no eternal slumber, no sweet
     silence to end the pain,
     In revelation, all too late,
     I realize, I shall be again,
     It is not I who has won, it is the
     darkness.

     this was written some time ago,
     I hope those that are depressed
     realize, suicide is not the answer.

     Having been there, I am very glad
     to say, I am still here, struggling,
     at times, but it has gotten much
     better, there are answers, never
     give up....!

bjstone

< !signature-->

~the breath, a mystery
of it's own ~~

[This message has been edited by Isis (edited 08-20-2000).]

darkstar
Member

since 2000-08-09

Posts 230
Port Richey, Fl, USA

1 posted 2000-08-20 11:28 AM

That's really good that you realized that. If only I could do the same...really good imagery.

Dark Star

boji stone
Member

since 2000-08-13

Posts 62
USA

2 posted 2000-08-20 01:04 PM

darkstar, i hope you do realize,
and please....I do understand,
but I am here to tell you
even when it seems hopeless,
it isn't. truly it is not!

if you ever need to talk
email me.

thank you.

bj

~the breath, a mystery
of it's own ~~

Rosebud1229
Senior Member

since 2000-04-05

Posts 1813
North Carolina

3 posted 2000-08-20 05:07 PM

this was beautiful and so true. Ive found the true love starts with you.

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

4 posted 2000-08-20 09:00 PM

Boji Stone, I hate having to do this, change a few words, for I understand you are telling the story of your life and how you know suicide isn't the answer... It isn't and never will be. I'm sorry for anyone who tries or succeeds committing suicide.
BUT we have guidelines here in passions about anything too graphic, about suicide or sex, or language or asterisks instead of language.
This time I have changed the words slightly, next time, i will have to delete the post. As you will see the meaning you wish to share isn't lessened at all.. I know you will understand.
And please remember the truth, the answers and the peace are all within you, you mustn't lose them again, none of us must ever lose them..
Isis< !signature-->

*Our deeds travel with us from afar, and what we have been makes us what we are..*
~Isis~Goddess~~Sovereign of the Spirit~

[This message has been edited by Isis (edited 08-20-2000).]

boji stone
Member

since 2000-08-13

Posts 62
USA

5 posted 2000-08-21 07:43 AM

Thank you Isis, for explaining, I thought
at first I was losing it, the words
had changed. ~grin~ I am suprised though,
you didn't corret the spelling of vanity.
I respect your rules, we each have our own,
and to keep a forum within the guidelines of what you deem acceptable is certainly understandable.

bj

boji stone
Member

since 2000-08-13

Posts 62
USA

6 posted 2000-08-21 07:52 AM

Isis, another thing I would like to say,
It wasn't exactly my life. Yes, I have been extremely depressed, and Yes I have thought of suicide, but I have never
went to the steps of attempting.
Acutally I felt saying in the realization
the darkness had won, not I, was stating
suicide is not the answer. Anyway,
as indicated, apparently that's not
the way it is read by everyone, again
I thank you for your explanation.

sincerely.

bj

boji stone
Member

since 2000-08-13

Posts 62
USA

7 posted 2000-08-21 08:03 AM

To Rosebud,
yes, you are very right.
Love does begin with you,
thank you very much for
your kind words.

bj

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