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Dark Poetry #2
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Maelstrom of Madness
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Maelstrom of Madness |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Clutching his insanity he weaves an intricate maelstrom of madness His mother tried to give him comfort though it filled her heart with sadness He cried out for unseen enemies and keened a song of the dead Doctors probed and prodded, but found nothing wrong with his head he looked out to a world unknown where he lived just days ago but now he lived in a place called hell where no living man should go darkness shrouds his gaiety gloom has become his friend a forever of nothingness |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
This was an excellent poem! Conveyed a great sense of doom and suffocation from the real world. Good work! |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Excellent deVine. . . We've all gone there. . . some never to return. . . ------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
You DO understand, don't you? I'll copy this off and send it to all those who keep telling me "Get help...you don't have to live like this". Maybe now,with the help of your poem, THEY will understand. Great use of the word maelstrom.....hard to work into a poem, but you did it with style. I love it!!! Gotta see more from you. |
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Portia Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157 |
Wow. I was fascinated by your portrayal of the descent into madness. And I especially loved the way the punctuation and capitalization disappears halfway through, and then the way the last stanza ends so abruptly on the third line... rather, I imagine, like your subject's sensible thought. Excellent work. |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
This was a very good read, Thank God sometimes reality steps in just on time to grab us and shake us up, or I fear more would end up struggling on this end. |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
love the work here but it sounds like something that i would right. i glad to know i'm not alone here in the DARK. (LOL) - keep this up so i can see some of your inner me. please don't take that wrong only saying the same feelings and such. I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
An excellent poem. Encapsulates a lot! |
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Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
First let me say great, and I'll add, I've walked this line of madness before, it is a dark place, looking out to the world that is suppose to be right and has no color, To a world that really makes no sense to the ?? sane/insane. And yes some never recover. Joel. I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel. |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
Hey PDV, when I saw you name here in the dark I just had to give you a read - I'm glad I did. I had an acquaintence who was diagnosed with schizoph... hell I'm not even going to try to spell it... anyway, this poem sounds a lot like his gradual decline into that horrendous illness. I'm here hoping this is just a poem and not a reflection of someone's reality... if it is, my best thoughts are with them. Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. - JP "Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmi |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
PDV, a powerful exploration of mental illness. It frightens me alot my mind is the one thing that I feel comfort with, it is my strength and I fear its decay. excellently written, and a reminder of how delicate we are. A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry |
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Colin Senior Member
since 1999-06-05
Posts 596Callington, Cornwall, England |
Dang you're good! How can you capture so many styles so well? Eric. "We are the music makers and we are the makers of dreams." - Willy Wonka. |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Story teller extrodianaire!! This was great PDV!! It would be scary if you couldn't even rely on yourself.... I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn..... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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