»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #2
»
Something Darkness
| Dark Poetry #2 |
|
Something Darkness |
|
|
Forrest Cain Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306Chas.,W.V. USA |
Something Darkness It was a fog i remember. A time of tears and ice and uncertain nights. Waiting and praying that he'd come home. That she'd be quite and leave him alone. But God save the children, cause nothing else can. From poverty and liquor and memories that stand, on crooked hind-legs, like a carrion crow. Feeding on misery and terror below, the curve of her instep, pacing a rage. Like some kind of animal, trapped in a cage. of flesh and lonliness and nowhere to go. Kissing our faces with backhanded blows. And someone's crying, deathly afraid. Shivering and shaking and lying awake. As little lives crumple. like balled-up foil. Carelessly tossed and left on the floor. With rats and roaches and cigarette butts. Dirty diapers and broken glass. And he's passed out, couched by the door. Something unseen responsible for, stagger down houses and unsteady steps. round-house punches and blood on her breath. And God save the parents, cause nothing else can. From poverty and liquor and memories that stand. Alone and unspoken through to many nights. Something unreckoned, draining their lives. And it ain't about love and it never was. It's liquor what hates and tears us apart. And there's no escape for me anywhere. Unbalanced and wobbly, slurring my tears. Now i keep my heart in the back of my car. Under the seat in a pickle jar. It was a fog i remember. A time of tears and ice and uncertain nights. forrest 8-2000 [This message has been edited by Forrest Cain (edited 08-17-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 O. Forrest Cain - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
!!! Member
since 2000-08-12
Posts 137VA (U.S.A) |
This is a nice poem. very interesting indeed. Fantastic imagery, and description. Great Job, Keep it up! -"!!!" |
||
|
tookabear Junior Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 28Mansfield, TX USA |
This socked me right in the gut. My mom was married to an alcoholic for 6 years. This poem really describes the terror and the horrible anticpation of who and what the alcoholic's rage will be taken out on next. This poem gave me chills. |
||
|
eldridgejackson Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 91 |
And tears upon tears lost to the sheets and blankets worn thin Unable to change the picture dream of a better world And pray for it all to end. Yes I remember oh how true you speak oh Brother great poem. James |
||
|
Forrest Cain Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306Chas.,W.V. USA |
Tookabear, E Jackson and unknown commentor thanks for reading and I appreciate your kind words. forrest |
||
|
lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
Forrest, this is so intense, it made the hair on my arms stand on end! Your poem is so scary, and yet so real. And I am impressed by the way you represent the adults and the children. Both victims. So well done. If we were allowed to give stars I would always give you the highest number!  More, please! Lotharingia "Dreams are life, reality, creation" Miguel de Unanumo |
||
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Oh this is just incredible work. I wish it did not make me think of some loved ones. Just brilliantly portrayed. Thanks. Peace catalinamoon Words are things, and a small drop of ink, falling, like dew, upon a thought produces that which makes thousands, perhaps millions think. Lord Byron |
||
|
Forrest Cain Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306Chas.,W.V. USA |
Lotharingia and Catalinamoon thanks for your very kind words. I apologize for such a slow response but my computers been on the blink. forrest |
||
|
poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
this is an echo of an all too familiar song...so many lives are led this way...its tragic...but you managed to describe it in a very heartfelt way without "shock factor"... i enjoyed this poem very much! thanks. ~Dawn whatcha doing in this darkness baby when you know love will set you free? will you stay in the sea forever Drowning there for all eternity? ~Live |
||
|
eldridgejackson Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 91 |
I think your revision is perfect. I had to come back to read it. I also sent copies to the other brothers and sisters. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
