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Dark Poetry #2
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Just One Night
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Just One Night |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA 
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Just One Night I slip quietly out the security door Of your building. Looking back as if to see you Running there, after me. Only shadows in the darkened hallway. The latch clicks behind me And I know There is no way back in. I think of you lying there Four floors up In your love stained bed Touseled hair on crumpled pillow Off in dreamland Before my footfalls had faded From your door Turning down rain padded streets The aroma of our love sweat Still clinging to me. Turning my collar to the cold, Damp wetness of the early morning mist. Searching for lights in the distance, The all night diner. Desiring nothing more than coffee and a cigarette, and the memory of how you loved me For just one night. I wish I had asked your name. [This message has been edited by Hardrock (edited 08-02-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Marv Hardin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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kynder Senior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 537Tallahassee, Florida |
oh dear marv, now i am crying. now we both know kynder doesn't cry. what a piece of work here, friend. thank you for showing me the other side of all those nites. kynder Sunshine can not bleach The snow, Nor time unmake what Poets know. Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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MiseryDivine Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 114Chicago! en america...oh lala! i wish i lived in England.....(sigh) |
ooooo lala! me gusta mucho...i like it! cuteness! much love~ ~MiSeRyDivine~~ |
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Dedreia Member
since 2000-07-10
Posts 172Kokomo, Indiana, United States |
goodness my friend...that was awesome...I wish you had asked her name too....Dee |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
This is so beautiful, Marvin. In spite of the fact that it is depressing. How did you do that? < !signature--> Lotharingia "Dreams are life, reality, creation" Miguel de Unanumo [This message has been edited by lotharingia (edited 08-02-2000).] |
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Deborah1 Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653New Hampshire |
OK Hardrock, things are heating up here in NH...It has the lingering aftertaste of a fine wine...wonderfully vivid!! The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose...--Hada Bejar |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Just amazing, could see, feel and participate in the whole scene. There was a McKuen feel here to me. I like this a LOT! |
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Lynne Dale Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 114Melbourne Victoria |
I liked it too. It was sensual, erotic and almost conventional. Be well Kethry Kethry. When dark of night steals your soul. Think of me and be made whole. |
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Deborah1 Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653New Hampshire |
May I request you make this so I can vote Please??? Thank you....Love Ya Deb The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose...--Hada Bejar |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Oh my my Marvin. Hot damn to you!!! This is so incredibly fresh...in the way that you brought me there. Goodness me,...your words got so many senses reacting to them. I could feel this. You have written so totally well of this. I am in awe here. I'll be excused now. Take it EZ. *Peace. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Very well done, vivid scene here...could see it playing in my mind... |
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L Tiuch Member
since 2000-02-04
Posts 151NY |
Beautiful...sad...and it really touched my heart. I am sure she wished you'd asked her her name! Linda |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
hmmm I have to remember this..and never get caught in that positon of not knowing..was a very intriguing read ~~softly Maureen |
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Nikolette Sadness
since 2000-07-29
Posts 337port richey fl. |
i loved this...added it to my library too  but as i read it i would haev sworn it was from a woman...hehe Nik i was once in love and happy...but you can call me Sadness. |
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jerralynne Junior Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 11 |
"The latch clicks behind me / And I know /There is no way back in." amazing ~ you should have gotten her name though, don't you think? ~ as a woman, even i have done this ~ only i through the name & number away ~ i suppose that could be worse ~ great great poem ~ jerralynne |
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CAVECANEM Junior Member
since 2000-08-05
Posts 43Nevada USA |
You captured a moment in time for some of us. The thoughts, the smells, the feel of those moments spent with another for just one night. |
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silentsky Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 114 |
Marvin, i liked your poem a lot...made me think of how we all live in our own realities...and how we are at times painfully woken from our illusions by some other reality... kat |
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Wren Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 312 |
What a sad, yet sensual poem! The power this one packs is immense! The emotions it portrays are cutting! What can I say? I loved it! -Wren The thread of destiny Unknown by anyone Unseen by anyone Winds around your heart Moist with tears -Vampire Princess Miyu Theme |
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a-alibaster Member
since 2000-01-08
Posts 392 |
Hardrock, I am a bit late, but this is wonderful...two sides to every story...always!! "There is an alter ego which dwells in every soul..." a-alibaster "I am as I am, nothing more, nothing less, I am tears of pain, tears of Death. |
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Click Member
since 2000-06-11
Posts 202USA |
I know the empty feeling this puts in ones head. Click |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
Man what a read. I could see it all. It was like a movie playing in my head. Awesome Hardrock. Juls |
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Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
In My search for white dove I somehow missed this great peace of work, this is wonderful my friend, and I'll send it back up to the top. Joel. I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel. |
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sonjes Senior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 564North Carolina |
Thank you to Joel for sending this one back around...I am glad that I had the chance to read this astounding work...One's first thought is a secret affair...and then you weave the reader into your spell and leave them with a feeling of awe at the end...I'm out of breath! Don't care what people say Just follow your own way Don't give up and use the chance To return to innocence. -Enigma |
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!!! Member
since 2000-08-12
Posts 137VA (U.S.A) |
Sometimes thos one night stands go that way. Other times they actually develop into something more...sometimes. Good poem, and a great job. Keep it up! |
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firecrakker Member
since 2000-10-20
Posts 235Virginia |
Holy cow... I'm rendered speechless. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Hey, one of my favorites, brought back again. This poem is so incredible, it deserves another visit here. Shades of Casablanca. Sandra |
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darkstar Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 230Port Richey, Fl, USA |
Wow...that kicks a**! that's all I can say... Dark Star |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Hadrock, on second reading this poem rocks as much as the first time. Be well Kethry Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. Gail Sheehy |
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Suzanne Arlene Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 377Ontario, Canada |
WOW This poem made me ask so many questions. Like Why didn't he ask her name? Does he want her to follow or not.I have no answers.Just questions.Good poem Very good poem.Suzanne |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
this was sweetly sensual, and brought memories maybe not quite as anonymous, but equally short-lived. you did a lovely job depicting this. jann elizabeth |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Excellent writing...James |
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StarGlow Junior Member
since 2000-10-23
Posts 40 |
Hardrock, good read..enjoyed much. |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Excellent work I can't say anything that hasn't already been said, but I HAVE missed your work hon.  Isis *Good will towards all beings is the highest religion* ~Isis~Goddess~~Sovereign of the Spirit~ |
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Lady Lost Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 470 |
This has given me chills...such a vivid portrait, beautifully painted with your words. |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
My dear friend i must agree with everyone else on this one it's great so theres not much more i can say. I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
if only just one night you've captured it in it's true essence so warm and giddy wow! |
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