(I have no idea what to call this--ideas please, please)

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Dark Poetry #2

(I have no idea what to call this--ideas please, please)

Ginners
Member

since 2000-07-22

Posts 339
Mullica Hill, New Jersey

0 posted 2000-07-30 02:15 PM

Not only does this poem need work it needs a title too so please help with eithr if you can, and i dont like to rhyme stuff just to let you know cuz everyone says to try that when you get stuck, but i dont like to. well thanks please help if you can

Months of crying over you, for you
Moments of total happines with you,
Hours of doubts and misgivings about you,
A night of pur bliss in your arms,

Someting things get too hard
Things just seem foolsih to me,
But that is o.k. you make me smile,
You made me fall in love with you,

Thoughts run in and out of my mind,
Mostly thoughts of you amd me,
Everything that we could be,
How I want it to be with you,

What I do I do because I care,
Staying isn't something I have to do,
I do it anyway because you are so much,
Words don't do justice to the way I feel,

I feel so much for you, I can't say,
The words are always lacking,
Lacking in feeling, meaning and time,
They never sound right to make you believe,

What I say and do is never enough,
It isn't enough for you to believe,
Not enough to make you stay,
Only enough for you to pretend to care

"There is no always forever-just this-R.Smith

broken glass never cuts the way it should-Gin

Deranger
Member

since 2000-05-10

Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there

1 posted 2000-07-30 02:54 PM

Uh, this is a little fruity, but bear with me...Poetry really has to flow from the writters heart, its diffucult for any other to give you advice on content or titles for that matter. That is because the reader undoubtably matches different experiences with your words, so at the end of your poem, they have a completely new feeling then you.
Ok, so that really didn't help/answer any of your questions, i'll leave that the future.

And a little bit of advice. Its kinda hard to get started on this board. Its not that the people are rude (their a nice crowd, once you get to know them) , its just they oftentimes only read poems with well, catchy titles. Its a human condition. But go and respound to about 25 poems and you'll be surprised how many more responses yours get.
uh, i am sure your getting tired of listening to my lectures be now (:

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.